Episode 707
by Cristae“Priest.”
At Perse’s pointed comment, Falkrius noticed the blood dripping from his ladle and gave an awkward laugh.
“Oh my! That’s all treasure! Thanks, Perse.”
“It’s nothing, sir.”
“Fuhuhu, just call me comfortably.”
Falkrius set the ladle aside and stepped outside.
“Our -Iactus Soup Club- agreed to be the first to explain about clubs in exchange for feeding you. Anyone know why our club is called that?”
The Blue Dragon Tower second-years looked at each other.
They’d heard the legend of Saint Iactus slaying an evil dragon with a single stone, but had no idea what that had to do with soup.
“Is it because Saint Iactus liked soup?”
“Fuhaha! That’s a funny guess. Close, but not quite. Everyone knows about the miracle of slaying the dragon, but few know his other miracles.”
The portly priestly senior thumped his gut and continued.
“One day Saint Iactus visited a village. The west was enjoying a bumper crop but the east was in famine and starving. So Saint Iactus went to the wealthy westerners and asked them to share food.”
“They didn’t share, did they.”
“Exactly! So Saint Iactus had an idea. He announced he’d make delicious soup with nothing but stones and water. The rich folk gathered to watch. As he cooked, he muttered, ‘It’d be even better with minotaur shoulder meat,’ you see.”
“?”
Lee Han nodded at the parable, but then paused—a rather luxurious ingredient had appeared.
“Uh, isn’t it usually supposed to be carrots or onions, or even potatoes?”
“Fuhu, it’s just an old story! Maybe they’d recently hunted a minotaur and had plenty. Anyway, every time Iactus muttered like that someone would bring him what he ‘wished’ for. Then he’d say, ‘Oh, if only we had fairy cave salt, this would be even better.'”
“……”
“……”
At first, the Blue Dragon Tower students listened, moved, but soon they began to feel this was a little off.
These ingredients seemed a bit too fancy.
Gainando was quietly impressed.
“I use that trick all the time! Mumbling until someone gives in to playing wizard cards…”
“Really? Fuhaha, you might be a hero like Saint Iactus! The villagers brought everything he wished for and in the end, there was enough soup to feed the whole town. Our club’s name honors that miracle.”
Ahsan asked, puzzled:
“Did this really happen?”
Other students voiced doubts as well.
“How could just one village have both famine and bumper crops…”
“The ingredients seem a little too fancy too…”
Falkrius didn’t mind their questions at all.
“Fuhuha, old stories tend to get distorted. But you all sound like the principal—every time he hears this he argues about what’s wrong!”
“What does the principal say?”
“He claims Saint Iactus threatened folks with rocks, to strong-arm the ingredients out of them. Fuhu! Nonsense!”
“……”
For some reason, Lee Han thought, ‘The principal might be right, actually.’
Falkrius roared with laughter as he went on:
“But I bet you’re wondering about something else, right? More than the name—you want to know what clubs really do, and what privileges they bring?”
“Yes!”
Gainando blurted out, and Falkrius laughed uproariously.
“Fuhaha, alright! Our club gathers, grows, harvests, and even butchers and herds basically all the food at Einrogard. We’ve been around so long that the club owns a lot of fields and pastures. That’s why, as a kitchen club member, you never go hungry.”
“!”
Even those who’d been less interested suddenly perked up.
No matter how well Lee Han fed them, hunger was a constant in Einrogard.
Being in the kitchen club meant you’d always have plenty to eat.
Lee Han was amazed and whispered to the friend beside him.
“Impressive. I guess when a club’s been around so long, that sort of thing’s possible. Bet everyone will want in.”
“…Why are you saying that to me, Wardanaz?”
Adenart shot him an ever-so-slightly sour expression.
“Oh, sorry. You were just standing there.”
“……”
Adenart eyed Lee Han with suspicion.
She’d long wondered if Wardanaz considered her as much a glutton as her half-siblings; now she was nearly convinced.
“Me! I want to join!”
Gainando leaped up. Others, eager not to be outdone, raised their hands.
“No! Me!”
“I’m in the top 10 of alchemy!”
“I helped Wardanaz cook once!”
“Fuhuhu, thanks for the interest, but not just anyone can join!”
Gainando quickly swung his wand at his friends.
Those friends were ready; they fired back.
“I’ll get in!”
“You get the most from Wardanaz—you should stand down!”
Falkrius swung his giant cleaver.
At this signal, all the students shooting spells tumbled to the floor in a heap.
“Barbaric! It may be Einrogard, but that doesn’t mean admissions are Einrogard-style!”
Thump!
Falkrius set down a huge cauldron filled with water.
“Grab the handle!”
“Like this?”
“Yes.”
Gainando, puzzled, grabbed the cauldron’s handle.
But the water remained still.
Falkrius’s smile shifted instantly to a look of contempt.
“Trash!”
“Wh-what, what did I do wrong?!”
“Get lost! Don’t even talk to me; your voice soils my ears!”
He spat a spell, flinging Gainando away.
“Next! Grab it!”
“I-I got it!”
This time, a tiny bubble rose and vanished from the water.
Again, Falkrius regarded the student with disdain.
“You look like someone who’s never cooked for anyone else. Trash! Get lost!”
“……”
“……”
The once-warm mood chilled in an instant. None of the self-nominated students passed.
Behind him, kitchen club members beamed approvingly.
“That’s the Falkrius I know.”
“He never pulls punches with the unworthy.”
The -Iactus Soup Club- tryout was simple:
Grip the cauldron and make the water boil.
But it had to be done by the candidate’s very life story.
Magic, external means, nothing like that worked on the cauldron.
It would only shift for those who had, personally, cooked for others.
If you’d lived idle, never so much as boiled water for someone else, you could never pass.
“Fail, fail, fail, fail… Oh. Not bad.”
Falkrius eased up only when Yoner’s turn came; his water gently began to boil.
For a Blue Dragon Tower student, that was impressive.
“Interested in our club?”
“May I look at some other clubs first before deciding?”
“Fuhuhu, of course! Check them all you want!”
For those who passed, Falkrius was very generous.
Yoner said he’d decide after checking other clubs, and Falkrius cheerfully approved.
Lee Han was relieved.
‘He’s got common sense, like Senior Direte.’
Having the right to forcibly recruit, but not abusing it—it was a relief.
“Fail, fail, fail!! Fail!!! You lazy piglets!”
Falkrius started flunking another round of students.
Then Lee Han’s turn came.
“Take hold!”
“Yes.”
The moment Lee Han gripped the cauldron, the water started to boil.
And then—turned to steam, shooting up in a geyser.
Fwooosh!
“……”
“……”
Falkrius, Lee Han, and the kitchen club students all blinked in shock.
What in the…
What on earth just happened?
“…Passed! That’s a pass! In all my years, I never thought I’d meet a junior like you. This is the miracle of Saint Iactus!”
Falkrius seized Lee Han’s shoulders and shook him, roaring with laughter.
Jolting back and forth, Lee Han stammered,
“Se-senior, I-I’d like to ch-check out some other clubs too…”
“Eh?”
Once the shaking stopped, Lee Han tried again.
“I’d like to look at others…”
“What are you talking about? No. You’re joining right now!”
As Falkrius called for the paperwork, Lee Han thought,
‘Hmm. I was wrong.’
He was just a madman.
As Falkrius and the kitchen club left, euphoric at “catching a treasure of a junior,” the remaining club seniors cleared their throats.
“That was a sight you don’t see every day—Falkrius that happy.”
“Honestly, never thought anyone from Blue Dragon Tower would make it into the kitchen club this year.”
Perse nodded again.
Even thinking it over, it was hard to believe someone passed that test.
Just how many meals had he cooked for others?
“It’ll be good for both the kitchen club and that junior.”
“You shouldn’t recruit like that! You’ll regret it!”
Gainando grumbled.
The seniors just tsked him.
“Jealous, huh?”
“Some friend.”
“All right, now for the polo club.”
When the kitchen club’s turn finished, Perse spoke up.
The plan was for each club to introduce itself in turn.
“First, did anyone brave the monsters and ride past to the desert during Lightningstep professor’s test in first term last year?”
Every second-year looked at Lee Han.
Still trying to figure out how to destroy the kitchen club recruitment form, Lee Han belatedly looked up.
“What’s wrong?”
“The senior wants you, Lee Han.”
“Falkrius?”
“No, Perse.”
“!”
When it looked like Lee Han was about to get recruited into polo club after the kitchen club, the other club seniors got nervous.
A library club senior broke protocol and spoke up.
“Wait. One question. Who caught the rock drake in the library last year?”
“We all did…”
Despite Lee Han’s words, his friends all looked at him. The senior took their gesture as the answer.
“Anyone here dig in and hold the line during the library seige too?”
“That was all of us…”
“I see. Call Falkrius back out here.”
The library club senior tucked away his staff.
Other club seniors did the same.
How dare someone just steal away juniors from another club?