Cat 209: Damn Black Cat

Chapter 209 Damn Black Cat

[Want to Be Human] live stream:

“Thrilling! Our kitten is still the most useful one! How is his owner so useless? Isn’t he supposed to be a high-level player? Every time, our kitten has to save him—at this point, the kitten is the real owner! First he steals beef pies to feed his human, now he swoops in at the last second to rescue him.”

“Isn’t that just how cats are? The kitten never saw Qi Feng as his owner in the first place.”

“The super-sized cat is so cool—I wish I could just tie it up and bring it home!”

“First-person perspective is just too exciting. If the kitten didn’t control his bite strength, there’d have been a crunch and his owner would’ve died then and there.”

“Hahahahaha, that’s the funniest image I’ve seen all day. One bite and the owner’s gone—guess it’s time for a new owner, right?”

“I keep thinking there’s more to this kitten joining the instance than meets the eye, having to do with Qi Feng. Too bad we can’t see the players’ system interface. Tsk, why won’t the game open the player dashboard to us?”

“Maybe it’s still wanting to give players some privacy. If they showed us everything, playing the game would be no fun for the players—and they still need tips from viewers.”

Qi Feng had chosen to take the dangerous job of piloting the plane out of a kind of gamble—you can’t catch tigers without venturing into their lair.

He knew a toy plane was nothing like the real thing—there were no safety features—and as someone who’d entered the instance mid-way, he didn’t have any defensive tools. But he was betting on completing the mission, unearthing the store’s treasure.

Of course, he also knew that, if he jumped from the falling plane at just the right moment, he’d survive. He had rope and other tools on him; in a pinch, he could save his own life. What he hadn’t expected was Caramel’s lightning-fast arrival—seizing him in a single bite, just in time.

Yan Jiyun had also been scared out of his wits. Aircraft crashes happened so quickly that by the time anyone realized, it was too late to react. He knew Qi Feng might be able to protect himself, but not being the person in danger, he couldn’t gamble Qi Feng’s life on it. When his worry peaked, his experience card’s time ran out and he turned back into a cat. He then quickly played his Luck Card, praying to transform into a giant cat yet again. Fortunately, the card was powerful enough.

He gently set the toy plane down. Qi Feng shoved open the broken cabin door and emerged, face a complex mix of shock and relief upon seeing the now-massive Caramel.

Caramel really was too clever—even knowing when to save him.

But Caramel was now so large, Qi Feng would have to climb up just to pet his head.

He had no time for that now, anxiety gnawing at him about the toy car the giant had crushed. He had no idea who’d been riding inside and hoped desperately it wasn’t Yan Jiyun.

At that moment, Chu Mo came barreling up in his rattling toy car and jumped out.

He glimpsed the red car that had been stomped down to a thin layer of plastic, his face darkening. “Where’s Yan Jiyun?”

Qi Feng had also had a close call—if it hadn’t been for Caramel’s perfect timing, he’d have been done for. Seeing Chu Mo arrive, he realized Yan Jiyun had been the one operating the destroyed car.

The two of them rushed over to inspect, searching for any sign of Yan Jiyun in the wreckage.

Confirming there was no blood around eased their tension somewhat.

But now came the biggest problem: where was Yan Jiyun hiding?

Qi Feng and Chu Mo searched around, even quietly calling his name. “Jiyun? Yan Jiyun?”

Chu Mo raised his voice too. “Don’t tell me you fainted, Yan Jiyun?”

They combed over the crash site, but saw no trace of Yan Jiyun—only a confusing tangle of black cats, some having scratched off their collars, making identification impossible.

Meanwhile, the now-giant-sized Yan Jiyun couldn’t tell them anything—because transformation brought its own troubles!

At this size, he was a sitting target. The giant strode toward him, thunder in his eyes.

The giant shouted furiously, “Where did this stray cat come from?”

Now that he’d grown larger, the giant seemed about the size of a normal human—apparently, only the players and their group had shrunk.

Regardless of Qi Feng and the others, his first priority was luring the giant away. All it would take was a single stomp and Qi Feng or Chu Mo would be finished.

With a leap, Yan Jiyun sprang onto a shelf—a layout he knew from the “campus” instance. In the little market there, he’d never hopped the shelves.

He forgot about Qi Feng and the others, facing off as an ordinary cat against a human.

His strategy was simple: bounce, leap, and run!

Qi Feng had never seen him so active. Normally, the cat lazed on him, moving only when absolutely necessary—who would have guessed he’d be leading an NPC on a mad chase, dodging with such practiced skill?

The giant shopkeeper kept hold of his ever-present feather duster as he chased the black cat—causing chaos—up and down the aisles.

“You stray! Wherever you came from, get back there!”

“Damn it, if I don’t catch you today, I’m not celebrating this Christmas!”

“Just you wait! My snow globe! My Christmas tree!”

While Yan Jiyun was darting away from the infuriated giant, he also happened to complete tasks they’d found nearly impossible in their shrunken state. The Luck Card only lasted so long, so he did everything he could now—once he was a little cat again, many things would be impossible.

The giant’s feather duster was truly frightening. Yan Jiyun leapt, diving into an empty shelf, crouched low and scurried underneath.

The manager was nearly livid with rage—he just couldn’t catch this sly black cat, and to make matters worse, the cat was systematically wrecking his store!

Wherever Yan Jiyun dashed, the shelves looked like a tornado had passed.

Qi Feng watched, half stupefied. The cat, who barely scratched the sofa at home, was rampaging—a true troublemaker. Who knew he had this other side?

Wen Ye’s plane was nearly out of power. With the giant wholly focused on Yan Jiyun, Wen Ye easily landed and joined Qi Feng and Chu Mo.

Qi Feng and Chu Mo couldn’t find Yan Jiyun. Spotting the household cat rampaging and a floor littered with Caramel’s destruction, Qi Feng made a swift decision. “Let’s find the Christmas gift, NOW!”

Chu Mo and Wen Ye caught on quickly. Caramel had inadvertently created the perfect distraction for them—it was an opportunity not to be wasted.

In reality, Yan Jiyun hadn’t meant to help. Only cat owners knew that when a cat was wild with energy, breaking things was inevitable—not breaking stuff wasn’t “being a cat.”

Yan Jiyun led the giant on a merry chase—back and forth from the first to the last shelf, up above where he knocked everything off, then down to skitter along the floor, systematically sweeping each level clean. The manager, breathing heavily, couldn’t catch him. This slippery black cat was too much.

“I don’t believe it! Just you wait!”

At last, the manager realized brute force wasn’t working; he picked up the phone to call for help.

Yan Jiyun took advantage of that time to hide and take stock.

His running and leaping gave him more time to survey the area. It was indeed a gift shop—hundreds of items, only one of which could be the key. Too difficult.

They couldn’t exactly test each one, hoping for a system prompt—that would be laughably inefficient.

As Yan Jiyun ducked under a shelf just out of sight of the cameras, he counted down the remaining time on his Luck Card. He wasn’t far from the others, but needed to turn human again soon—he couldn’t stay a cat forever.

But what was the true Christmas gift?

He sensed he was missing something important.

He repeated the dungeon name in his mind: Sweet Christmas, Sweet Christmas, Sweet Christmas.

That’s right—he’d been fixated on the holiday, forgetting the “sweet” part of the name.

What connected sweetness with Christmas? The only ones left in the shop were the manager and the brat—which of them had to do with a “Sweet Christmas”?

In the West, Christmas is like Chinese New Year—a time for family and feasting. In China, it’s either about parties with friends or couples out on the town.

Why did a horror game have “sweet” in the title? Was this its peculiar take on sweetness?

Wait—the game had an internal time; today was Christmas Eve. Qi Feng said his key item was an apple. But as far as he knew, apples weren’t a traditional part of Christmas in the West. It was just a marketing trick in China.

Qi Feng still hadn’t used his “apple” item.

What else happened at Christmas? Oh, hanging stockings above the bed!

But why hadn’t they looked for socks?

Scanning the store, Yan Jiyun saw no Christmas stockings for sale—only one, hung on the wall behind the counter, bright red and conspicuous.

The trouble was, his teammates, even if they knew about the stocking, were too small to reach it. The giant stood by the counter, on the phone. If he tried to snatch the stocking now, he’d be caught.

Either he found a way to make the others giant-sized, or he’d have to grab the stocking himself.

He had no choice—it had to be him.

Four minutes remained on his Luck Card.

He had to get that stocking to Qi Feng’s group within four minutes. Without a main quest, he’d get no system prompt from any key item.

So today, he was the errand cat.

The manager finished his call—no help, only his friend’s mockery.

Yan Jiyun crept from the shadows, jumping to a spot near the counter, eyes flashing green in challenge.

The manager tried to look unconcerned, but at heart he was impatient—Caramel was close enough to grab, or so he thought.

Yan Jiyun exploited the human weakness for “illusions,” feigning inattentiveness. The manager imagined he could grab the cat, unaware it was a ploy to lure him from the counter.

He fell for it. As he reached for the black cat, Yan Jiyun simply leapt two meters away, forever just out of reach.

Patiently, Yan Jiyun drew the giant farther away from the counter.

Once the manager was far enough, he bolted for the wall, heading for the red stocking.

Forty seconds left on the Luck Card.

He didn’t care how slippery the floor was—he just sprinted.

Run, leap onto the counter, stand up, kick with the back legs, hook with the front paws, and down came the stocking—all in a flash.

The manager felt like he’d been played by a cat, but couldn’t accept it. Was he really outsmarted by a feline?

“You damned cat, not my Christmas stocking too! You’re not getting away this time!”

He was truly enraged.

Qi Feng heard Caramel’s wild commotion, feeling utterly helpless and defeated—not one thing he could do to help. And began to wonder—was his cat always chased by NPCs in every instance? At home the cat was so well-behaved—this game had really made him wild.

Yan Jiyun, hearing the giant’s footsteps approaching, ran for Qi Feng’s group, the stocking clenched in his jaws.

He had to get the stocking to them, no matter what.

It was infuriating—the stocking wasn’t big, but it was long, and even gripping it in the middle, it dragged on the floor. So troublesome! He just had to be sure not to step on it as he ran.

The manager, coming after him, wore an extra coat—clearly, he meant to throw it over the cat!

This was bad.

The manager lunged left—Yan Jiyun dodged right. Sidestep after sidestep—barely escaping again. At the next corner, Yan Jiyun spotted the line of little black cats and tiny Qi Fengs.

The Luck Card’s time was almost up. At the last second, he spat out the stocking—

Thump—he tumbled straight into the enormous, pillowy Christmas stocking.

The instant Qi Feng touched the stocking, it vanished, and he scooped Yan Jiyun up, quickly hiding behind a pile of scattered merchandise.

The manager giant began to doubt his own sanity. “Where the hell did that black cat go?”