Youngest 050

Episode 50

“Hmph, go on.”

The caretaker pinched my nose as she spoke.

We were sitting side by side at the base of a nearby tree.

“Hmph.”

I blew my nose into her hand.

“Oh dear. Your nose is all red now.”

“Sniff.”

“All cried out?”

Nodding, I dipped my head and the caretaker grinned broadly. Something about her gentle face made my tears start flowing again.

‘Is it because I got caught doing something wrong?’

I didn’t know myself why I kept crying. Not knowing made the tears come even more.

No, I really don’t cry easily, usually…!

“Yes, yes… sniff, I’m sorry. Sniff.”

“Not done crying yet, I see.”

“But, sniff, but, who are you?”

“I told you. I’m the caretaker here. See that hut over there?”

“Yes. You’re, sniff, you’re amazing.”

“I don’t know what’s so amazing… Ah, those tears keep coming. What am I to do?”

Because of me, the caretaker couldn’t work and was stuck here. She furrowed her brow as if troubled, then let out a big sigh as though resigned.

“Can’t be helped, can it? Let’s go to the hut. I’ll have to get some food into you. That’s enough now, shhh.”

“…okay.”

Her hand wiping away the tears rolling down my cheek was rough. She must really put her heart into tending the graves… Sniff.

I took the caretaker’s hand and went with her to the hut in the corner of the memorial garden. The little hut, full of signs of life, was old but cozy.

‘Void called her a witch.’

She’s like an angelic old lady…

“Sniff.”

I sat at the battered wooden table and rubbed my swollen eyes.

With all this crying, I really did feel like a little eight-year-old child.

“Now, let’s see. Something sweet always lifts the mood, right? What do I have that a child could eat…?”

While lighting the fire in the hearth, the caretaker bustled about. On one side, a stew was bubbling away.

Grrrrrgle.

At the smell, my stomach made a ridiculous sound.

“You…”

The caretaker narrowed her eyes, and I stealthily clutched my stomach.

“….”

Oh, why am I like this.

Now I look like a child crying because she’s hungry…

And so, I suddenly became the little one getting fed supper at the caretaker’s house.

“Oh my, that’s spicy.”

The caretaker was steadily working her way through the spicy stew she’d made. She was already on her second cup of water, gulping it down like a hippo.

“Um… You said you’d give me something sweet.”

“Spicy food relieves stress better, you know. And your stomach made that noise, didn’t it?”

I pouted my lips and stared down at the bowl in front of me. The fiery red spicy stew looked like bubbling molten lava.

Laughing softly, the caretaker put a spoon in my hand.

“Give it a try. I put less hot sauce in yours, you should be able to eat it.”

“You could’ve just not put any in mine at all…”

“It’s tasty, I promise.”

With no other choice, I took a spoonful of stew.

“Huh?”

“It’s good, right?”

“Yes! But it’s spicy!”

Puffing and panting, I kept gulping down water, but I couldn’t put my spoon down.

This fiery flavor. The taste of the everyday world. The taste of modern, blazing chicken!

The two of us sat at the decrepit table, sweating and sniffling, sharing spicy stew.

“How’s that. Feeling any better?”

The caretaker handed me a cup of cold water.

I gulped it down and set it down with a clack.

“Phew. Yes. I feel… almost reborn…”

I had forgotten this feeling.

A good cry, a spicy meal. Feeling refreshed, I rubbed my full belly contentedly, when suddenly something was pushed under my nose.

“Wow, cocoa!”

“Then I’m forgiving you, alright? For all those tears.”

“Yes!”

Truthfully, it wasn’t the caretaker who’d made me cry.

Grinning, I drank the cocoa. Sweet! Rich! Delicious!

“Such a round, cute thing.”

Chin in her hand, the caretaker watched me intently.

“So, why were you there, anyway?”

“Um…”

I paused and flicked my gaze about while sipping my cocoa.

“I live alone here. There’s no one for me to talk to anyway. Go ahead, tell me.”

Her kind voice dripped with honey.

“They call me the old witch, you know. Don’t talk to anyone, and there’s even a rumor I eat the children who come to the memorial garden.”

Remembering Void’s words, I gripped my mug tight.

Normally, I would have made excuses and run away, as always.

‘Strange. For some reason… I can’t refuse.’

For some reason, that just didn’t seem possible right now. Maybe my spirit was just worn out.

I gazed into the caretaker’s blue-tinged eyes. Sometimes, it’s easier to confide in a total stranger.

“I was… a little upset.”

“Were you? About what?”

“Well, people don’t like liars, do they?”

“For the most part, I suppose.”

My shoulders slumped.

“They probably dislike children who lie even more, right? They’d think I’m gloomy and sneaky…”

“Well, anyone who calls a child that is the one who’s gloomy and sneaky, if you ask me. Running their mouth without knowing the first thing about others.”

Staring at the rippling surface of my cocoa, I added glumly,

“The truth is… I lied to a friend.”

I hinted at my situation with Mister Leviathan.

“But that friend doesn’t know anything and keeps being nice to me, keeps trying to get closer… Every time that happens, it stings in my heart…”

“I see. If your friend finds out you lied, they might get angry.”

“Ugh…”

I knew that, but hearing it out loud still stings…

“But why did you lie in the first place? To trick your friend?”

“No, it’s not that!”

I turned my head quickly as I spoke. The caretaker’s eyes softened as she gave a gentle smile.

“It’s really not… I just…”

It was frustrating not being able to tell her everything.

“Things just happened, that’s all…”

“You…”

A soft cloth appeared, wiping the drops of cocoa from my hand.

“You really like that friend, don’t you?”

I thought of it blankly, then slowly nodded.

“…Yes. I like him a lot. He’s really precious to me.”

I liked Mister Leviathan. I truly, truly liked all the members of the Zevert family who were kind to me.

But every time, a sense of guilt came with knowing that this affection might not really be mine.

If they ever found out that everything about me was a lie, would they still care for me the same way?

Honestly, back when I followed Mister up north, I didn’t understand it completely.

The secret I had created to protect myself would end up suffocating me.

“I don’t want to be hated…”

I never imagined I’d be so afraid of being abandoned that my heart would shrink down to nothing.

“Oh dear. Crybaby little thing, aren’t you?”

As I started bawling again, the caretaker pulled me into her arms and comforted me.

For a long while, I sobbed in her embrace. After my crying had settled, she gently scanned my face once more.

“Little one, what is it you want to do?”

Her gentle voice and warm expression. Enveloped in that safe, tender atmosphere, I wiped at my tears and thought, stumbling over the words.

What do I want? Of course.

“I… want to stay by my friend’s side. Always… never be apart…”

“Then don’t worry about anything else for now—just do what you want to do.”

“Huh?”

As I blinked, another tear or two slipped free. The caretaker raised her brows in pity and said, “Oh, poor, squishy thing,” and laughed.

“If you can’t tell the truth now, just wait. Explain things bit by bit, and I’m sure your friend will understand. They’re a good person, aren’t they?”

“Sometimes they’re good, sometimes they’re not.”

“Well now… that’s a sharp analysis.”

With a quiet laugh, the caretaker seemed amused.

I gazed blankly at the hand drying my cheeks and asked,

“Even if I did wrong by lying… could I still be forgiven?”