Famine 169: The Young Lady

The castle’s enormous front gates cracked open, and a Lolita-clad girl in frilly pink stormed out, slamming the doors behind her with a force that made the ground shake.

Bang!!

Well… considering the gates were over ten meters tall, such a slam really did make the earth tremble…

The girl had a doll-like face, with large and beautiful eyes, and barely topped Bian Xu’s shoulder. She wore an elaborately tiered tea-party Lolita dress, lace and gauze heaped layer on layer, jeweled to the hilt—like a storybook princess stepped from a fairy tale.

Si Zhiyan: “Miss—”

Without so much as glancing at them, the young lady swept by in furious tears, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief, and, finding a spare moment, flipped the bird to someone on the castle battlements.

Si Zhiyan: “…”
Quite the character indeed.

Bian Xu tried to say something, “That—”

He hadn’t finished when, in a flash, a lightning arc crashed down.
Boom! With a thunderclap, a massive, transparent lightning cage dropped from the sky.

“I did warn you, miss… Every time you run off for reasons like this, it truly troubles me.”

On the battlements stood a tall, slim man in a majordomo’s uniform. His hair was precisely combed, monocle gleaming, a lightning-colored whip in hand, arms folded as he coldly pushed his glasses:

“Especially when every time you run off, you come back with some outrageous request… Like sewing over seven-hundred jewels into a single skirt hem… Unheard of… The whole team rushing for days… Ah, the agony…”

Si Zhiyan: “…”
I think I saw that project—after I tore it apart.

“You don’t control me!!” the young lady retorted, summoning a bloodstained chainsaw. With a yank, it roared to life—blood and flesh spraying. Raising her voice above the saw’s drone, she shouted, “Then this time I just won’t ask! If a decision is needed I’ll just call and ask for your opinion, okay?!”

Bian Xu: “…”
That was quite a fierce way to say something rather sheepish.

But—was this really “running away”?

The butler’s frown deepened. “No! You’re liable to eat things you find lying around!”

Si Zhiyan & Bian Xu: “…………”

Si Zhiyan took a deep breath. Alright, that was more than enough. This bickering was almost intolerable.

He decided to get a word in, linking up with Bian Xu.

Bian Xu paused at once.

As expected, he wasn’t keen to speak. Si Zhiyan couldn’t help a wry smile in his heart.

But rather than press him—Bian Xu didn’t want old friends to recognize him—he would at least encourage Bian Xu to interact with others a bit more.

At the very least, while things were stable, he needed to help him step out, see society again—live as he once did.
Not hide forever in the undercroft, only pretending to be someone he wasn’t.

Beneath his jacket, the tip of Bian Xu’s vine trembled slightly. He looked up at Si Zhiyan, his gaze holding a subtle, pleading sadness—enough to sting the heart.

Si Zhiyan met his eyes, soft red gaze unwavering, watching him calmly.

The gentler and less reproachful the eyes, the more Bian Xu trembled, heart twisting up in dread at the thought of causing disappointment.

“…” Bian Xu took a deep breath, nodded, and whispered, “I… I understand.”

He ducked his head, bracing himself.

When he looked up again, he wore a perfect smile.
He promptly raised his hand in encouragement: “You’ve got this, miss! The pinker the skirt, the harder you hit!!”

“Yes!!!” shouted the young lady, chainsaw aloft.

Si Zhiyan: “…”
Wait, who told you to pick a side?!

This throwing yourself into the pack of wild dogs sort of socializing… Si Zhiyan pinched his brow. Honestly, couldn’t this reclusive, seven-year-old settlement spare us a little more attention as their first new visitors?

After a beat, he raised his voice gently, “Miss, what would you like to eat?”

“What? What do you mean eat—” the young lady answered distractedly, then, as if startled, whipped her head around, “Huh? Someone’s here?! Wait! There are really people here!!”

——

For an instant, even the breeze stilled.
Si Zhiyan and Bian Xu both noticed—a multitude of unseen blades instantly fixed upon them.

The lightning cage vanished without a trace.

Now the girl, chainsaw in hand, turned as if noticing them for the first time, her expression suddenly grave: “Who are you?”

Huh? Si Zhiyan glanced up at the gate.
So it was not the butler or castle guards who confronted strangers, but the young lady herself?

Did the whole settlement really place their trust in this adorable young mistress?

A series of thoughts flashed through Si Zhiyan’s mind, and he glanced at Bian Xu—your turn.

Bian Xu, lowering his encouraging hand, did as expected, stepping forward half a pace with a bright smile: “Ah, finally noticed! Hello, hello, this is Mr. Si, the farm owner, and I’m his assistant.”

Already, he was in his element, no longer pleading or hesitant. Even without a familiar face, Bian Xu’s pleasant features carried a kind of innate warmth, the kind that put strangers at ease.

“We’re guests, drawn here by your reputation—it took real effort to find this place…” Bian Xu carefully raised empty hands to show no threat. “Uh… Sorry if we’re intruding. If it’s inconvenient, we can leave right away.”

That face made the young lady visibly relax.
Though both eyes remained wary.

“Hmph, still missing a bit of vigilance.”

“We used a little spatial magic,” Bian Xu admitted, winking, openly, “Well, yes. After all, this is the legendary equipment settlement, the society of the God of Craftsmen! Any Don’t Starve player would yearn for this place.”

“When I saw your dress, I knew this trip was worth it. Such astoundingly complex enchantments—holding so many gems on a single skirt, and…”

The girl stared at him: “And what?”

Bian Xu gestured seriously: “And it’s downright gorgeous, much better looking than all the gear that group of old straight men makes. Simply incomparable!”

“Pfft…” The girl couldn’t help herself, finally letting down her guard. With a flick of her hand, the invisible blades dissolved.
She didn’t say it aloud, but it was clear she relished the praise: “Smooth talker, aren’t you! You sound as if you’re no straight man yourself!”

Bian Xu just grinned and coughed softly, falling silent.

With only a few words, he’d warded off the hostility of strangers; whatever the stage, his affable presence was natural and welcome.

Si Zhiyan’s lips curled faintly.
A truly useful talent.

Smiling, Si Zhiyan smoothly took up the conversation, nodding toward the firmly closed castle gates behind her: “Pardon me, was something the matter?”

“Ah—” A face of petulant anguish abruptly twisted her doll-like features, and after struggling with herself for a moment, all her complaints converged into a single wail—

“He won’t let me eat anything!!”

Click.
With a shimmer of lightning, the castle gates opened, and a figure in black strode out with poised elegance.

“Sigh… Such a willful mistress.”

The butler adjusted his monocle and sighed, “Guests, I presume? Forgive us for making a spectacle of ourselves.”

He paused, as if he couldn’t help himself, shaking his head: “Farm owner… what a title. If only someone like that really existed.”

Si Zhiyan smiled with narrowed eyes, not answering, and instead asked, “So, Miss, what would you like to eat?”

The girl spread her white gloved hands: “This!”

Si Zhiyan looked down—and there it was, a lollipop. The wrapper bore a large, sinister smiley face and the words [Pseudo-Knowledge Pop]. The color was so desaturated it was nearly black and white; the shadowy spots were almost invisible, as if cut from an old black-and-white film.

Si Zhiyan: “…”

He knew at once which world it had come from—the very same haunted, urban legend city as before.
The level of cursed energy practically matched that of the dense apartment block.

The butler expressionlessly confiscated the candy. “Please refrain from eating cursed objects you find.”

“It wasn’t from the street, it was from the carpet!” protested the girl, wailing, “Come on! It’s so rare to find a world with packaged snack food! What if it’s edible? What if, huh? It’s candy—seven years, and I haven’t tasted anything sweet!”

“Please be patient.”

“No! You incompetent butler! What about your own tea desserts? Glucose-stewed mashed potatoes! Aspartame energy jelly! I mean really…”

Stone-faced, the butler replied, “Those are all the ingredients I have available. If you wish to dismiss me for that, please remit compensation of 2N+1.”

“You…!”

“Excuse me, if I may,” Si Zhiyan interrupted with a genial cough.

As all eyes turned to him, he paused thoughtfully, then asked a rather serious question—

“Miss, do you like apple pie?”

……
…

An hour later.

In the castle’s emerald courtyard garden, beside an ornate fountain, sat a towering dessert rack on an elegant tea table.

Nearly as tall as a person, laden with a dazzling array of colorful pastries and sweets, their aroma drifting temptingly in the air.

All around, maids and footmen gathered, the butler stood nearby, and the young lady herself sat at the table. No matter where one stood, everyone stared in astonishment, jaws agape, unable to move.

Si Zhiyan, with Bian Xu at his side, stood by the table, adjusted his sleeves, and announced with perfect composure:

“Allow me to introduce today’s afternoon tea menu.”

“The first and second tiers are the sweets selection: cranberry butter scones, fresh mango and cream fruit tart, rich chocolate molten lava cake, blueberry milk pudding, freshly baked puff pastry apple pie, and cocoa crisp egg tarts.”

“The third and fourth tiers are savory: ham and cheese tea sandwiches, smoked salmon with crisped toast, meat floss cheese bites, uni and caviar on soda crackers.”

“And the top tier is chocolate cream cake.”

“Today’s available beverages: banana chocolate pudding cocoa, peach iced tea spritzer, and premium oolong tea. Salt blocks, crispy puffs, and other condiments can be found here; please help yourself.”

“As per your requirements, every dish has just been sampled before your eyes, and you may select any plate for a sample test—each item is assured free of curses, poisons, or contamination, and perfectly healthy. If you’d like us to taste anything else, or would prefer we dine together, the two of us are at your disposal.”

“That’s about it. Please, enjoy.”