Retire 353
by Cristae353 Kitchen Garden and Greenhouse (3)
Human emotions cannot be so easily divided, as if slicing a radish.
It’s the same with Kang Taewoo. Every time I look at that child, I’m filled with complicated feelings. Though, under protective measures, we’ve become something like family, it’s not quite right to call us real family. But to say we’re not family at all—that’s not true, either.
It’s just complicated. It’s hard to define.
Of course, I know he’s not the kind of kid I vaguely disliked when I was young. I’ve grown up since then, and now I can see things I couldn’t see before.
It’s a bit like a habit. Childhood memories linger for a long time. The feelings I had for Number 3 sometimes bubble up unexpectedly. It’s not that I truly dislike him; it just comes to mind. Sometimes I feel guilty about it, and that makes it hard to face Kang Taewoo.
And with Woo Irok, since he’s myself, I never felt any guilt about deceiving him. But with Kang Taewoo… it’s different, after all.
This isn’t his fault; it’s entirely my own problem, so I don’t let it show. I’m not so small-minded. I believed time would resolve this. Just think back to the day I met Kang Taewoo at that bizarre cult gathering—I never imagined then that he’d become something like my relative.
Looking at it this way, Hong Seok-young bringing Kang Taewoo here was the right thing to do. There’s no way to guess what would have happened to him in the original timeline, but the chances of his dying were much higher. Thinking of all those children who would have died, caught up in adults’ affairs without ever knowing the truth, left a bitter taste in my mouth.
“Teacher.”
Kang Taewoo called me with a voice full of anxiety.
Even if he thinks I’m the man in the crow mask who wandered those gloomy laboratories, it doesn’t matter. The one Kang Taewoo seeks now is me—not his brother.
He calls for me, not his brother. He calls me “teacher.”
When he’s struggling, when he faces a wall he can’t understand, he comes to me for help.
He seeks me out.
No one else.
Me. Woo Heejae.
I didn’t look away from Kang Taewoo; I met his gaze head-on.
I thought back to how Number 3 used to seek help from adults in the old laboratory.
Eyes fixed on the floor. Shoulders hunched. A small, quiet voice.
That was just an imitation of a well-behaved, obedient model student—never the true appearance of a child genuinely in need of help.
But Kang Taewoo now?
His shoulders trembled with anxiety. His hands fidgeted.
He was scared, but his face was full of trust that I would help him. Did it take a year for him to come this far?
Children really do recover quickly.
I wasn’t the only one who needed time. If Kang Taewoo could spend a little more time like this, he might erase the shadow of the laboratory entirely. Just as I did, the day would come when he could laugh at those times without a care.
Well, while waiting for that day… let’s get to work.
“Can you tell me exactly what you’re seeing?”
“Uh, well…”
Kang Taewoo stammered as he spoke.
It wasn’t that he was watching my reaction, but rather that he didn’t know how to explain what he was seeing. Still, I calmly waited for him to finish.
I don’t know exactly when I first became able to see magic. So when Woo Irok started seeing it, I realized it could happen earlier than I thought. Unless you experienced a dungeon break in daily life, there weren’t many chances to encounter magic. If not for my father, I would have realized my condition much later.
One day, I could just see it. Becoming sensitive to magic followed after. But with Kang Taewoo, it was the opposite—he was sensitive to magic first.
Being sensitive to magic is only ever helpful for a Hunter, never a hindrance. So I’d given him steady adaptation training. Maybe Kang Taewoo would be able to see magic, and even if not, it would be good to learn for the future.
I’m not sure whether I wanted Kang Taewoo to be able to see magic, or to never see it at all.
“There are fine particles floating around. All different colors.”
“Yes!”
But now I know. I wished Kang Taewoo would never be able to see it.
“What do you think you’re looking at?”
“…Sorry?”
“What do you think you’re seeing right now?”
“……”
Kang Taewoo hesitated to answer.
There was something caught in his throat, but he wouldn’t say it. If it were Number 3, he would have hidden his feelings more skillfully, but this awkwardness only made him seem like an ordinary kid his age, and that stung a bit.
“I’m not going to scold you, so just say whatever comes to mind.”
“……”
“It’s okay, really.”
“…Um, it’s just, teacher, you…”
“Yes.”
The ability to see magic isn’t a natural power that comes with awakening, like a spell. It’s the result of an experiment. An experiment I never wanted, that had nothing to do with my will.
Being sensitive to magic could be brushed off as a natural trait, but seeing it—that’s different.
“You kept giving me special lessons…”
“Mhm.”
“To help me get used to magic.”
As a sample of that experiment and as an adult, I had a duty to explain the truth to Kang Taewoo. He might reach the answer on his own, but it would be far better if I explained it. I planned to tell Woo Irok as well, later—maybe next year, when his situation had stabilized a bit more.
I was already prepared for Woo Irok’s case. I’d been through it myself, so all I had to do was give him the same help my father gave me.
But Kang Taewoo?
“Back then… the magic I felt in those lessons…”
I didn’t want to be the one to explain the experiment to Kang Taewoo.
“It feels kind of like that magic.”
“Feels kind of like it?”
“……”
Kang Taewoo swallowed hard, as if he were about to reveal some great secret.
“It feels like magic.”
“…Can Sohee see this too?”
Kang Taewoo accepted the facts I told him without much fuss.
“I don’t know. If she awakens, we’ll have to watch carefully.”
“……”
Kang Taewoo fell silent.
I left him alone so he could organize his thoughts. He didn’t break the parasol or run off crying.
If Park Seohyun had sat so quietly with such a serious face, I would have felt anxious, but with Kang Taewoo, I didn’t feel that way.
And as I explained things to Kang Taewoo, I realized a new possibility.
Until now, I’d thought my ability to see magic was mostly due to my biological parents creating me through experiments. All the experiments I remembered from the lab were just taking mysterious drugs and getting injections.
But as far as I knew, Kang Taewoo was born outside the lab, unrelated to it. Not that cult village of Atlas, but under a mother who was an Atlas researcher.
…Maybe the lab’s research was working in ways I hadn’t realized.
I was almost grateful to Noah Michel for shutting down the lab.
“Teacher.”
Kang Taewoo recovered his composure surprisingly quickly.
I tore my gaze away from the dazzling display of magic. If Kim Chaemin planted mana grass there, that kaleidoscopic scene would become even more intense. It would be blinding. Maybe I’d have to wear sunglasses like Han Taekyung.
“Is that why you’re so strong—because you can see magic?”
“No. That’s not it.”
“Uh…”
So that’s what he was worried about.
I let out a small laugh. If only he’d always say such cute things, instead of getting lost in strange thoughts and breaking tables in tears.
“There are no shortcuts.”
“But… being able to see magic is supposed to be a good trait for Hunters, right?”
“I said it was a good trait, not an advantage.”
Kang Taewoo didn’t understand.
He would become a Hunter, I was sure. He hadn’t mentioned revenge again since then. I hadn’t asked, not wanting to stir things up, but from the way he threw himself into training, it didn’t look like he planned to quit.
“Even if you can see what others can’t, what happens if your body can’t keep up?”
“Uh…”
I flicked my finger against Kang Taewoo’s forehead.
I hadn’t used any force, but since he hadn’t seen me move, Kang Taewoo jumped out of his chair in surprise.
“W-what was that?!”
“You didn’t see it, did you?”
“…No.”
He set the chair upright and sat down again. The stiffness in his posture showed he’d understood my point.
“Seeing magic isn’t a cure-all. It’s good for spotting traps and the like. But that’s all. There’s nothing in this world you get without effort.”
“…So you’re telling me to train hard?”
“That goes without saying.”
I nodded toward the greenhouse with my chin.
“With a textbook, it’ll be easier for you to adapt. I had a hard time, you know.”
“…You did, teacher?”
“Why?”
“You always seem so relaxed, teacher.”
“That’s because of all the blood, sweat, and tears I put in.”
Kang Taewoo looked like he wanted to hear more, but he didn’t press. He probably thought it was related to the lab. That wasn’t a misunderstanding I could correct.
“When Ms. Kim comes back, the magic here will get even thicker. You should finish your basic adaptation training before then. I’ll help you starting tomorrow morning.”
“…More special lessons?”
“Don’t like it?”
“It’s not that…”
Kang Taewoo hesitated, then spoke.
“I don’t like being treated special.”
“Really?”
“Jieun always complains about it. She says, ‘Why does only my brother get extra lessons?’…”
I hadn’t considered that the other kids might resent it, but I suppose it was possible.
I never intended to give anyone special treatment, but…
“Then let’s have Ms. Kim take over your lessons.”
“What?”
“That’s better. Since you need to adapt to different kinds of magic, Ms. Kim’s spells will be more helpful. The other kids need to learn how to deal with magic too, so you can all take the lessons together.”
I pointed to my eyes.
“For reference, being able to see magic is especially useful when dealing with mages.”
“…How often would I have to fight a mage, though?”
“Magic is a lot like the environment inside a dungeon. And it’s not like there aren’t monsters that use something similar to magic.”
“……”
Kang Taewoo looked confused by my suggestion to hand his lessons over to Kim Chaemin, but he nodded obediently. In this, he still had the air of a model student.
For this obedient model student, I assigned some homework.
“From now on, come here after class and observe the kitchen garden and greenhouse. For at least an hour.”
“…What am I supposed to observe for an hour?”
“You can’t even look at the greenhouse properly right now because you’re dizzy.”
All through our conversation, Kang Taewoo kept blinking as if his eyes hurt.
It had been several days since the kitchen garden and greenhouse were built. Until now, Kang Taewoo hadn’t reacted at all. He said he’d come to me as soon as he saw something strange… So this was his first time seeing magic, and it happened to be in a place where countless types of magic were tangled together?
It was a miracle he hadn’t thrown up.
“You have to adapt.”
“……”
“No looking away. One hour.”
A wrinkle formed on Kang Taewoo’s forehead.
“Can’t I just keep having private lessons with you, teacher?”
“If you don’t do this now, you’ll definitely throw up when Ms. Kim comes back.”
“…Is that from experience?”
After a moment’s hesitation, I answered honestly. Giving false hope to this poor child would only make him resent me.
I shrugged.
“Experience.”