Retire 438

438 Hunter and Teacher (3)

“There you go again, saying something interesting.”

Kim Chaemin summed up my worries as something amusing.

But that didn’t mean she dismissed what I said.

“What brought that on all of a sudden?” she asked, tilting her head, but before I could explain, she nodded as if she’d already figured it out.

“Oh, I get it. Teacher Woo, you sometimes give off this vibe that you grew up in a really ideal environment, you know? I think this is just another part of that.”

“What’s that supposed to—”

“Don’t get annoyed,” she cut me off.

“I know what your childhood was like. I’m not ignoring that. This isn’t about that.”

She looked at me, biting her lip for a moment, as if she was about to avoid my gaze, but then she met my eyes again and spoke.

Unwavering.

That was always how Kim Chaemin was.

Was it because she’d had to deal with so many people that she understood others so well? I didn’t really think so.

But Kim Chaemin always understood people, always spoke kindly. Even when she said things you didn’t want to hear, she never forgot to offer comfort. Maybe that’s why the kids trusted her so much.

Maybe that was just her nature. By her own standards, Kim Chaemin was a good mage. She wouldn’t deny it if you asked.

But at the same time, she was a good person.

She spoke gently, and with care.

“I know, because I was a lot like you. I grew up safe and sound, too. No, don’t get annoyed—what I mean by ‘safe and sound’ is that I became a Hunter in an environment where safety was guaranteed, where I could move up step by step, where there was always someone nearby to protect me if I made a mistake.”

She looked at me as if to ask if she was wrong.

I almost reflexively denied it, but the words caught in my throat.

It was just the phrase “safe and sound” that bothered me, but I couldn’t say it wasn’t true. There were parts of it I didn’t want to admit, but… she was right. I’d heard similar things before.

For example, my father always checked every dungeon I entered, making sure I was safe.

If I denied that, or said it was wrong, I’d be lying. I tried to do the same for the kids.

“Right?” she pressed.

Lately, I found myself swallowing my words more and more. Maybe it was a kind of escapism.

I already sensed that I wouldn’t like what she was about to say—just like with my father.

I managed to nod.

Kim Chaemin smiled faintly.

“I like the way you teach the kids. How you tell them there are other paths besides being a Hunter. That there are places they can turn for help, that it’s okay to quit, that even if they’re not Hunters, they need to be able to explain who they are—I like all of that.”

“……”

“But you know, right? The world can fall apart from a single misstep.”

She said it calmly.

A great magician, cherished from childhood by her grandfather and father, raised as a mage.

“There are times when you know there’s another path, but you just can’t take it.”

“…I know some of the kids are like that.”

Oh Hyunwook, for example. Park Seohyun, too.

No matter what happened, those two would become Hunters, would become mages.

“Yeah. So you can’t ignore their resolve.”

Again, I found it hard to breathe.

Kim Chaemin was younger than me—even if you counted her age at the time of the Siren battle, she was still younger.

But as a Hunter, her career was much longer than mine, who only ever got a license and never really worked as one.

She’d only been active as a Hunter after coming of age, but even so…

She’d focused more on dealing with monsters that broke out of dungeons than on entering dungeons themselves, but she must have met many Hunters. All sorts of people who’d thrown themselves into that hellish life for all sorts of reasons.

I’d met plenty of Hunters working at the Administration, too. Not just met them—worked alongside them. I’d seen, up close, just how many foolish mistakes Hunters made.

So I’d overlooked the reasons why Hunters became Hunters in the first place.

I’d been so focused on not letting Oh Hyunwook or Seo Hanseong get trapped in the past, but I’d forgotten the most important thing.

“Why did you ask me that? Whether I want the kids to become Hunters?”

She looked me straight in the eye as she asked.

She was different from my father. Kim Chaemin wouldn’t let me run away.

My father would support me no matter what I did, but not Kim Chaemin. She was a good person, and a good mage.

So I swallowed the words I’d wanted to say to my father, and the words he’d wanted to say to me, and answered only the question Kim Chaemin had given me.

“Because they’re kids.”

“Then this shouldn’t have been a school.”

“…I know. Teacher Hong said the same thing. Said he’d have built an orphanage instead.”

“Right?”

“Yes.”

I nodded, smiling bitterly.

“What I’ve learned from being a teacher at this school…”

She smiled softly, eyes crinkling as she looked at me.

“I realized my grandfather and father must have seen me as just as much of a child as I see these kids.”

“…Me too.”

“You really do see more when you become an adult. Not that I wanted to know.”

“I guess that’s what it means to grow up.”

“But that’s the beauty of life, isn’t it?”

She fidgeted with her fingers, and a familiar rose bloomed, formed from mana.

“If the kids want to become Hunters, we can’t stop them.”

“I have no intention of stopping them.”

“Really?”

“I know it was a strange question. The only reason I quietly taught the students the way the principal told me to…”

I stopped. She looked at me curiously.

It wasn’t out of some noble reason, for the kids’ sake. If anything, it was for something much more mundane.

I’d planned to scratch a guaranteed lottery ticket, prevent the world from ending in twenty years, and then enjoy a comfortable retirement thanks to my winnings.

I never thought I’d end up recalling those beginnings here. Unconsciously, I covered my eyes with my palm.

Not a single part of that plan seemed likely to work out—except for preventing the end of the world. But that wasn’t a matter of whether it was possible or not; it simply had to be done.

Even if I told Kim Chaemin about these selfish motives, she’d probably just laugh. Which made me even less able to say it. Especially now, when I no longer felt that way.

When I fell silent, she looked at me curiously, then cupped the rose in her hands. The rose dissolved back into mana.

“It’s to increase their survival rate when they become Hunters, isn’t it?”

“…What?”

“The principal said the same. The whole reason for building a high school—he said it was to protect underage Awakened.”

She, too, spoke of the beginning.

I nodded blankly.

“You had no trouble saying it in front of Mr. Pyunes or Mr. Robinson. Why can’t you say it now?”

“Well…”

“Is your identity as a guardian fighting with your identity as a teacher?”

“Something like that…”

She giggled.

“That’s what I meant. The kids are already prepared.”

“……”

“Maybe we’re the ones who aren’t ready anymore. We were, at first.”

I looked at her in surprise. She said “we,” not “I.”

“I’m scared, too. I hate it. Going into a dungeon means you could die at any time.”

“……”

“My grandfather died protecting me, and my father died in a dungeon in Argentina. He disappeared. Even after the dungeon closed, he never came back.”

Her voice was calm, but it resonated.

“In an instant, my whole world was turned upside down. It changes you. I started hating getting close to people. Do you know how scary it is to become friends with someone who could die at any time?”

“Teacher Kim…”

“Especially Hunters. Awakened. I really didn’t want to get close to the kids!”

She flailed her arms in mock protest.

“But that’s why I know! No matter what you say, Hunters never really listen! Because I’m the same! So are you, Teacher Woo.”

She shot me a look.

“Don’t pretend you’re not.”

“…I’m not pretending.”

“You tried to.”

“……”

“So shameless.”

When had Kim Chaemin come to know me so well?

I pretended not to notice her look. By now, I could more or less guess what she was going to say.

But I wasn’t afraid anymore. In the end, it was all something I already knew, and I knew what I had to do.

“I wish the kids wouldn’t become Hunters. But that’s not for us to decide.”

“…So we teach them how to survive.”

“And we teach them what to do if they ever want to quit being Hunters!”

She held out her palm to me.

She waved her hand in front of my face and shrugged, but didn’t lower it.

“Because that’s something only we can do.”

I saw her grinning face.

My breath caught again, but this time for a different reason.

“What are you talking about? You don’t do anything, Teacher Kim.”

“What do you mean, I don’t do anything?!”

“I’m the one responsible for the kids’ mental health. All you do is check on Seohyun and Jinwoo’s magic. And you keep denying they’re your students.”

Slowly, I raised my hand.

Kim Chaemin glared at me, as if she couldn’t believe it.

“A mage like me can’t just take on students lightly, you know?”

“Don’t get cocky.”

“Wow, really!”

Our palms met in the air. Smack. A light sound as our hands clapped together.

I looked at her and let out a helpless laugh. I never thought I’d end up doing something so childish here.

“If you ever need Jinwoo’s magic, just ask him.”

She offered a simple answer to the question that had been troubling me for so long.

“If you need to clear a dungeon, just ask if he can do it. And don’t forget to pay him properly.”

“Of course.”

“If Jinwoo wants to go, he’ll go. If he doesn’t trust the people going with him, then that’s that.”

“…Is that how it works?”

“Of course. In the end, the mage holds the sword. So don’t get cocky—keep honing your skills.”

At that, I finally remembered what everyone had been overlooking. The anxiety Jinwoo had quietly confessed to Park Seohyun…

“But that goes for Jinwoo, too.”

“Hm?”

“We’re all talking about him like this because we think he’ll be able to use Park Nogyung’s magic, aren’t we?”

“Well…”

“He’s still got a long way to go, right?”

“…Yes.”

“Do you think he can do it?”

“That, I don’t know…”

“A good mage?”

“Aptitude is a different matter…”

Kim Chaemin, who had been smiling brightly, grew somber.

But soon she regained her energy.

“Jinwoo’s doing well, so you should set an example, too, Teacher Woo!”

“Sorry?”

“Stop avoiding the principal and go talk to him.”

“Hm.”

I pretended to inspect the flowerbeds.

“Set an example!”

“Can I pull this one? It’s a weed, right?”

“Set an—Don’t pull that one!”

When I pretended to pluck a tiny sprout, Kim Chaemin scooped up some dirt and threw it at me.