Retire 442
by Cristae442 Once Again (2)
“Do you talk much with Irok these days?”
“Irok?”
At the mention of Uirok’s name, Hong Seokyoung’s face, which had been drawn tight as he sipped his peppermint tea, instantly brightened.
“Why? Did he get into another fight with a friend at school? He said they made up, though.”
“Huh? When did he ever get into a fight with a friend…?”
“If it’s not that, is it taekwondo? He’s been pretty annoyed ever since he awakened and couldn’t go to taekwondo anymore. There are dojangs for awakened kids, but Irok’s still so young… So Robert’s been helping him, but I guess it’s not the same for a kid.”
“I suppose… that’s true.”
“Honestly, what’s he going to learn there anyway? He just goes to hang out with his friends.”
Hong Seokyoung started going on about Uirok’s recent doings—things I hadn’t even asked about.
In fact, there was more I didn’t know than I realized. I listened quietly as Hong Seokyoung spoke about Uirok. The Uirok he saw was a little different from the one I knew.
“Still, exercise is exercise, and he’s picked up how to use his body quickly enough. It’s a relief. It could be dangerous if he couldn’t control his strength. Irok knows that and does well. He gets frustrated, but there’s nothing to be done about that…”
Lately, Uirok had been particularly annoyed with me. When I stayed home for a while, he’d look at me like he was sure I’d finally been fired.
I took that as proof of his successful socialization. The fact that it happened earlier for him than it had for me made me rate myself more highly, too.
That assessment hadn’t changed. I was just surprised to realize that Uirok was telling Hong Seokyoung things he didn’t tell me.
Not that it was a bad thing. Far from it…
…Uirok had more adults around him that he could rely on than I ever did.
In my case, aside from my father, the only adult I saw regularly was my sister. Though whether she counted as an adult was debatable.
Now, Uirok had me, and Kim Chaemin, and Isabella, and Robert. Even Han Taekyung, much as I might not like it, was included.
When I was young, if my father or sister didn’t have time, they’d sometimes call Oh Hyunwook. But that stopped at some point. Thinking back on the state Oh Hyunwook was in when we met again much later, it’s not hard to guess why. I only realized much later that the overweight man I saw was the same young man I’d once known.
When we’d just brought Uirok home, we even left him with Lee Miseon or some of Daseon’s hunters for a while. Well, not so much left him as asked for their help. I was barely holding it together myself at the time.
But my father never asked Lee Miseon to look after me. I only learned here how closely he’d worked with her. When I’d seen them at the academy or the administration office, they never seemed to get along particularly well.
At any rate, Uirok had plenty of adults around him. Good people, patient and calm, who could endure a child’s misbehavior and gently guide him.
Once, I might have felt an ugly jealousy toward a child who, in some ways, was still myself.
A sense of relief that I didn’t have to take away the opportunities I’d had from him, and a lingering feeling about the people I never had.
But now I know. I can’t say I did or didn’t have those things.
Is it because Uirok is also me?
No, that’s not it. I realized long ago that Uirok would never become Woo Heejae.
This is… yes.
The fact that Uirok is who he is now is ultimately the result of my efforts. No, not just mine, but everyone’s. Just as I was able to become the Woo Heejae I am now.
What I couldn’t have, what my father gave me—I wanted Uirok to have all of it.
Why?
Because he’s my little brother.
If there was anything that still weighed on my heart, it was Hong Seokyoung’s presence.
I had still taken away from that child the chance to have a father.
“…And apparently, Sophia wanted to get a puppy, so she and Irok fought about it. I told Sophia she could have one if she could take care of it herself, but Irok said cats and dogs don’t get along, so it wouldn’t work. He said it could be dangerous to keep them together. I’ve never raised anything myself, so I don’t really know.”
Hong Seokyoung was positively delighted, talking about Uirok.
There were plenty of adults around Uirok.
Adults he could run to for help at any time.
And out of all those people, Uirok chose Hong Seokyoung—not me.
All my worry about having deprived that child of a father’s presence seemed pointless.
And I no longer felt jealous of my little brother, as I once might have.
Because I’d learned that a father’s love is not a finite thing.
Hong Seokyoung would love Uirok just as much as he loved me. And vice versa. No doubt he felt the same about the son he lost long ago.
That’s the kind of person Hong Seokyoung was.
A man who could change completely at the single word “Dad” from a suspicious man claiming to be his own student from the future, as if someone had promised him the whole world.
That was the kind of person who was my… our father.
With a final suggestion that they should keep observing a little longer, Kim Chaemin and Gamble kicked Hong Seokyoung out of the lab.
“Honestly, saying this is the most promising approach isn’t a lie.”
Unlike Gamble, who rattled off engineering jargon that was hard to follow, Kim Chaemin made the effort to translate things into language Hong Seokyoung and I could understand.
“You can’t see anything, right, Mr. Woo?”
“I told you, I can’t. Seriously. The mana’s so dark I can barely even see his leg.”
“Oh… so being able to see mana has its downsides, too.”
Kim Chaemin nodded, seeming to realize my difficulty only then.
“What about Mr. Han?”
“He says he can see it. If I’d known, I would have had him take a look when we changed the bandages.”
Kim Chaemin was frustrated at having overlooked the simplest solution right under our noses.
“From now on, if there’s anything suspicious, we’ll have to make use of Mr. Han.”
“Mm.”
And with that, she made a small resolution—one Han Taekyung himself would never welcome.
I just nodded in support of Kim Chaemin. It wasn’t me who’d suffer, after all. It’d be Han Taekyung.
Kim Chaemin peered at a monitor filled with dizzying numbers and complicated graphs, talking to Gamble. Gamble answered in a mix of English and Korean…
“……”
Next to them, Hope was openly yawning and watching a drama to stave off boredom.
Just because Han Taekyung could see something didn’t mean every problem would resolve itself as dramatically as the show Hope was watching. Still, now that we’d found a clue, it shouldn’t take too long.
I left the lab with Hong Seokyoung.
“Does Irok miss me?”
“Sorry?”
“You asked about him, that’s all.”
This was the first time we’d been alone together since I’d run away.
He couldn’t possibly not have noticed that I’d been avoiding him these past few days, but Hong Seokyoung didn’t mention it.
“…He doesn’t say it, but I think so.”
“If he misses me, he should just say so. Guess he really is your brother.”
Hong Seokyoung laughed heartily.
As his laughter rang out, I heard the distant sound of children’s voices. Not from the sports field, but near the greenhouse. They must have been sharing snacks under the parasols there. Robinson and Funes were with them, along with a few of Daseon’s hunters.
The heat had passed, and the weather was gentle. A soft breeze drifted by, and a lazy, peaceful atmosphere settled over the school. For the headquarters of a secret society working to save the world from destruction, it was almost too tranquil.
Come to think of it, the greatest crisis here wasn’t the end of the world, but the stormy emotions of teenagers—whether to quit school, whether to become hunters, and so on.
And as much as I hated to admit it, that storm of passion applied to me as well.
Maybe that’s why my father and sister never told me anything until the end. Even I could see I hadn’t been mature enough to handle it.
“I never really thought seriously about the Hunter Academy.”
I could feel Hong Seokyoung’s gaze.
“I’ve heard all about the reasons for founding it and so on—enough to be sick of it. But did any of it really sink in? Not really. I guess because I never…”
“Attended?”
“Yeah. Not that I think it would have made a difference if I had.”
I gave a small laugh.
“I always had the freedom to choose.”
Whenever I hesitated, wondering if I should do something, my father would say:
‘Heejae, I’ll let you do whatever you want.’
“He told me even doing nothing was a choice.”
“I did?”
“Yes.”
He also gave me that cliché about life being a series of choices.
There was a time when I didn’t understand what choice meant. When I thought I had to walk only the path set before me. The fact that I could look back on those stifling days in the lab and laugh was thanks to my father.
It was only after I became a guardian myself that I realized how much anxiety my father must have felt watching my choices.
Maybe he was secretly relieved when I said I wouldn’t become a hunter.
But even if I’d said I would, he would have supported me just the same. He would have done everything he could to help me become one.
Just as he did when I said I wouldn’t.
“It’s the same for the kids, I think.”
“Choice?”
“Yes. This school is for training hunters. The kids know that. If they didn’t like it, they would have left already.”
And it was me who talked the ones who wanted to leave into staying.
The tear-stained faces of the kids who’d cried about quitting flashed before my eyes. Those same faces were now laughing and chatting over there. If I didn’t respect their choices here, I’d be a hypocrite. I’d be a terrible teacher.
So I have to take responsibility, too.
“I have to do my best to teach them.”
“So they can become hunters?”
“So they know it’s okay not to become one, too.”
I turned to Hong Seokyoung and smiled.
I wouldn’t run away anymore.
“Whatever they choose, I want to help them do whatever they want.”
“You know that’s impossible, right?”
“Do you have to rain on my parade?”
“You might end up disappointed again, you know.”
“I’m not that naïve. Anyway, the academy is under the administration’s jurisdiction. Every year, we get the list of graduates who’ve died. You think no one dies in the administration?”
Hong Seokyoung shrugged.
“Still, this is a school. An educational institution. Even if we can’t do everything, they should at least graduate knowing what they can do.”
I would help them find that path.
Just as my father did. Just as my sister did.
Just as I chose for myself.
For a better future.
“…I raised at least one good son.”
“You didn’t raise me.”
“Both this Hong Seokyoung and that Hong Seokyoung are me, so I did raise you.”
Hong Seokyoung burst out laughing.
Before the sound of his laughter had faded from my ears—
“The reason I decided to build this school… it was a long time ago.”
Hong Seokyoung began, his voice trembling with something that could have been laughter or tears.
“Back then, I was pretty sentimental, thinking I was all alone in the world.”