Retire 488
by Cristae488 Sinking Swamp (4)
A few days before returning to Korea.
‘Thinking about it again—’
It was during an in-depth discussion about the title of Savior.
When I suggested that it might be a term of derision, everyone fell silent. But that silence was broken by my father, the one most directly involved.
‘Honestly, I don’t think it’s all that important.’
It was hard to believe such words from someone who, just moments before, had looked so utterly exhausted.
When our eyes met, my father gave a small smile.
‘Sure, it’s annoying, it’s a hassle… I won’t deny that. But what we have to do doesn’t change.’
‘…Defeat them?’
Hope raised his hand hesitantly.
‘Exactly.’
While even Han Taekyung sat quietly, watching my father’s mood, my father had already returned to his usual self—confident, as if the weight of forgotten years on his shoulders didn’t matter at all.
The figure of a hero who might once have saved this world.
‘At first, I thought maybe I’d stepped onto a losing game.’
‘…And now you don’t?’
‘I’m not the one dragging out a game I’ve already won.’
My father laughed heartily.
‘The fact that they’re coming after me at all means they’ve already lost. No need to make it more dramatic than it is.’
‘So you mean, we’re not the ones playing a losing game—they are?’
Kim Chaemin picked up the thread.
‘Let’s assume, just for argument’s sake, that everything we’re talking about is true, Mr. Kim.’
Suppose an alien race on the verge of extinction invades another world, nearly faces extinction again, and then rewinds time in a desperate attempt to make their invasion succeed—suppose all of that is true.
‘If they’d won, why would they need to turn back time?’
‘……It’s a simple question, isn’t it.’
‘Exactly. So they’ve always been losing. The first time they almost overturned the board—’
My father and Kim Chaemin looked at me.
‘My son was the one who overturned it instead.’
‘Hmm. I get it. So they keep losing. It’s not just us—every time time is turned back, things happen that didn’t before.’
‘Alex is proof of that.’
‘If we can just figure out how they get their information…’
‘Let’s just be careful what we say around them. Judging by how lost they still seem, it doesn’t look like they have any way to find out what they don’t already know. They still haven’t figured out how to survive leaving the dungeon, have they?’
‘Mr. Woo said all the dungeons erupted…’
‘So they have no information about how to get out.’
And so my father spoke again, more forcefully.
As if to allow no room for dissent. To steady any wavering hearts.
‘So forget about being a Savior or whatever—let’s just focus on beating them!’
That’s what we’d come all the way to America to do, after all.
‘That’s fine, but we don’t even know where the problem ones are.’
With the tension eased, Han Taekyung finally spoke up. The more he talked, the more irritating he became, but somehow his easy grin made it hard to stay annoyed. I took comfort in not having to explain myself at length. Even if it was annoying that he always seemed to figure out what was going on from a few overheard words.
‘Oh, by the way, Sandra said if it’s not too much trouble, she’d like you to come to Korea for a bit. She says there’s a way to figure out the rune.’
‘All of us?’
‘No, just me for now, she said.’
‘It’d be hard to move everyone… especially after what happened with Lehmann. Heejae?’
‘…Yes?’
‘Mr. Kim too. The two of you should be enough, right?’
It was by chance that I noticed my father’s hand. It was just resting there, nothing special. Despite his broad grin and slouched posture, his large frame made his hands less noticeable.
There was nothing remarkable about the hand resting lightly on his knee. I might have overlooked it—if I hadn’t seen the trembling at his fingertips.
My father’s hand was shaking. He clenched and unclenched his fist, as if to hide the twitching fingers. The veins stood out on the back of his hand from how tightly he squeezed. It was a wonder his palm wasn’t bleeding.
If I pretended not to notice and kept talking, he would repeat the gesture several times—clenching, releasing, again and again. When that didn’t calm his hand, he’d run it through his hair or rub the back of his neck, as if looking for something to tidy up.
‘Come on, what’s there to worry about with me around?’
‘Wow, that’s reassuring.’
‘Mr. Kim, try putting a little more sincerity into it.’
His hearty laughter sounded so far away.
My father was a strong man. Objectively and subjectively, you’d be hard-pressed to find more than a handful of people in the world who could beat him. And even fewer who could do so without getting hurt themselves.
I remembered the day I first met him—breaking into a windowless lab, tossing around the director and researchers without hesitation, brushing off the inspector’s scolding with a half-hearted apology and not a hint of regret on his face.
My father had always been strong. Strong enough that nothing I did could faze him. Strong enough to let me live as I pleased.
What he left behind was a dog tag engraved with his name. Unlike my sister, whose body was found, not having his remains might have affected my sense of closure.
No matter how strong, my father was still only human.
Think of how he’d once doubted and barked at me, suspicious of my identity. Maybe that sharp edge was his true face—not the man who pretended to be strong for his children, but a hunter worn down by the monsters’ inexplicable attacks, always on guard.
His trembling hand scratched his cheek, then slapped his knee as if he’d just heard a joke.
I almost teased him, asking if he was scared, but swallowed the words. There are things you can say, and things you can’t. This was something I had to pretend not to see.
‘…If you’re so confident, why don’t you take care of everything while we’re in Korea?’
My father always wanted to look strong in front of his children.
My father would never show weakness to his children.
‘Please do.’
‘Hmm. In that case, you’ll be the one who’s bored with nothing to do, Heejae.’
‘As if! There’ll be a mountain of work waiting for me when I get back to school.’
I clenched my own fist.
To hide the trembling at my fingertips.
Even if Park Seohyun and Choi Jinwoo hadn’t uncovered the rune with their magic, I hadn’t planned to stay in Korea long. In fact, I had to cut my already short trip even shorter and hurry back.
Kim Chaemin asked Daniel if he could arrange for us to examine Kruger’s body. Lehmann’s magic had been broken, but he wanted to trace any lingering marks. Now that we knew what the rune was, maybe Kim Chaemin could discover something.
Daniel answered, not sounding very confident, that he’d try to get approval from his superiors.
Whether it worked out or not, Kruger’s body was under American jurisdiction. So we’d have to be in America to check it, or try anything at all.
……
Originally, I’d planned to spend about a week at school, checking on the students’ progress.
“Oh, your plans changed suddenly?”
Robert greeted me with a regretful look. Behind him were Kang Taewoo and Sophia.
“Yes. Something urgent came up and I have to go back quickly.”
I nodded and greeted the two. Kang Taewoo, whom I’d already seen at school, just nodded back, but Sophia clung to me with a disappointed face.
“You’re leaving again?”
“Sorry. Have you been well?”
A few pats on the head, and she was back to her usual cheerful self. Watching Sophia’s bright smile, I turned to Robert.
“Where’s Irok?”
Since I’d come all the way to Korea, Kim Chaemin had nudged me to at least check in with my family.
Even if he hadn’t, I would have stopped by home. No matter how busy, you should at least show your face. After all, isn’t this the reason I’m doing all this?
So we can all live well together.
“In his room.”
“What’s with him…”
“He probably got sulky when he heard you had to go away again.”
Robert laughed good-naturedly, throwing his head back just like my father. Not a drop of shared blood between them, and yet.
I shook my head. If he was sulking, he’d show it some other way. At least, that’s what I used to do.
Even this morning, he’d answered my call about coming home just fine. Did he get into trouble? The only times I avoided my father were when I’d done something wrong…
“Irok?”
Knock, knock.
I was about to open the door but knocked gently instead.
……
No answer.
“…I’m coming in, okay?”
……
No protest, so it must be fine.
The room was dark. There was a lump of blankets on the bed. I didn’t turn on the light, just walked over to the bed.
“Were you sleeping?”
“…No.”
A small voice slipped out from under the covers.
“What, you’re not even going to show me your face?”
“You’re going to America again.”
“It’s work. I explained this morning.”
“Hey.”
A small ball of fluff emerged from the covers. The cat stretched lazily and came over to rub against me. When I held out my hand, a little head bumped into my palm. As I stroked the soft fur, it started to purr.
A cat is better than a person. Someone is hiding under a blanket, refusing to show his face…
“You’ll come back, right?”
A sulky voice came from under the blanket.
“Are you worried about me?”
“…You’re going to clear dungeons again. Doesn’t America have hunters? Why do you and Uncle have to go?”
“Because Uncle and I are just that amazing?”
“So annoying…”
“Who? Uncle? Me? America?”
……
The blanket squirmed. A sure sign Irok was starting to get annoyed.
I patted the blanket while stroking the purring cat. The blanket went still.
“You don’t really know how amazing a hunter Uncle is, do you?”
“…I know enough.”
“What about what I learned from Uncle?”
……
“Mr. Kim Chaemin is an incredible mage, too. You don’t have to worry.”
“…People who say things like that usually die early.”
……
Strange. Where does he get this stuff? I thought I’d set the TV to only show kids’ channels. I’d even told Robert and Isabella to check.
I patted the blanket and let out a sigh, careful not to let it show.
“I won’t say it’s not dangerous. But do you remember the necklace I gave you?”
“The dog tag?”
“Yeah, that. I explained what kind of item it is, right?”
“…It protects you from attacks.”
“Right. But it’s not for winning.”
“It’s not?”
“It’s to buy time to run away.”
That was what my father always told me. If someone strong enough to add a mark to that tag showed up, I should run rather than fight.
“I’ll be back before the year’s out.”
“That long?”
Irok asked in surprise.
“I’ll try to come back as soon as I can.”
“…Okay.”
“Not even going to show me your face?”
“See me next year.”
“No, I said I’d be back before then…”
After placing the cat, which had been seeking my lap, onto Irok, I stood up.
Irok never came out from under the blanket. But a small hand reached out, grabbed mine, and squeezed, demanding another promise.
“You have to come back.”
“I will.”
For a long time, I thought he was just sulking because I’d been too busy with dungeons to keep in touch.
It wasn’t until I was on the plane to America that I wondered if it might mean something more.
“Mr. Woo? What’s wrong?”
I shook my head at Kim Chaemin and looked out the window.
I am Irok’s brother. The brother who promised to come back.
That was enough for me, and, I think, enough for Irok as well.