Cat 217: Miscalculation

Chapter 217 Miscalculation

The brat’s howling had faded, replaced by the heavy tread of the shopkeeper’s footsteps as he approached the break room.

Yan Jiyun warned everyone, “Quick, hide the wristband—he’s coming to the break room.”

Everyone had already guessed as much.

Wen Ye and Chu Mo worked together, flinging the wristband behind the printer.

The five of them clambered down from the back of the printer, finding refuge atop the edge of a cardboard box.

No sooner had they hidden than the shopkeeper entered. He tossed the brat onto the box, which collapsed under the weight, sending a pile of Christmas plushies tumbling to the floor.

Everyone tried to keep as silent as possible.

Yan Jiyun found it strange—why hadn’t the shopkeeper shrunk the brat as he had the others? Was he afraid that if the child shrank, he’d vanish entirely?

He recalled the functions listed on the printer’s screen.

[Print] [Copy] [Scan] [Shrink] [Enlarge]

He’d seen them from above; there were two more lines of text below, but before he could make them out, the shopkeeper arrived.

Yan Jiyun pondered the purpose of the “Shrink” and “Enlarge” functions.

How exactly had the shopkeeper shrunk two people? Did he simply use the “Shrink” function?

How did the machine lock onto its target? Did it have visual recognition?

Shrink—it would be easy to scan someone standing still. But to restore someone from small to full size, you’d need to stand somewhere the scanner could capture your image. Where was that spot?

After tossing the brat onto the box, the shopkeeper reached into his pocket and pulled out the two still-unconscious robbers, shoving them back into their cage without further action. Then he left the break room, shutting the door firmly behind him.

Only when the door was closed did Yan Jiyun and the others poke their heads out from behind the printer.

Chu Mo pressed himself to the printer’s side. “That guy is terrifying.”

Qi Feng said, “Let’s not waste time—let’s figure out how to work this printer.”

Wen Ye added, “Yes! I can’t stand being a powerless little person for one more second.”

Qi Yunchu nodded, “Me neither.”

They used strips of cloth to haul the wristband back up onto the top of the printer and reactivated the screen.

This time, they had enough time to see all of the functions.

Yan Jiyun dared to stand at the recessed spot below the screen, just able to reach; Qi Feng, worried he’d slip, stood above, holding the rope with one end extended down.

“Watch your step—don’t fall,” Qi Feng cautioned.

Yan Jiyun nodded.

Qi Yunchu slid down from the screen to join Yan Jiyun in examining the functionality.

Yan Jiyun read out everything he could see on the panel.

Now it was just a question of how to proceed.

From the screen, it seemed as simple as pressing a button, but what if there were hidden traps? After all, none of them had seen exactly which button the shopkeeper had pressed.

Yan Jiyun asked Qi Feng, “When you came in, do you remember where the robbers were standing? Did you see which button the shopkeeper pressed?”

Qi Feng didn’t answer right away, taking a moment to recall the scene. He remembered the shopkeeper’s finger touching the screen, but his sleeve had blocked the view; it was unclear whether he pressed the upper or lower part. After some thought, he still couldn’t be sure. Yan Jiyun looked to Wen Ye, who shook his head. “I couldn’t see—it was too far.”

This was true; they weren’t even as tall as the shopkeeper’s thumb.

Finally, Qi Feng remembered a key detail: “I recall his finger was at the upper right corner. His cufflink knocked the edge of the screen.”

He’d heard a distinct click.

Yan Jiyun’s caution was justified—“Shrink” might not shrink, “Enlarge” might not enlarge. The buttons might not correspond logically. Better to be safe.

Qi Yunchu theorized, “So maybe he pressed ‘Enlarge’?”

Yan Jiyun said, “Let me try it, see if it really is ‘Enlarge’ or ‘Shrink.’”

Qi Feng tugged the rope, causing Yan Jiyun’s end to wobble. “Don’t be hasty. We have ready-made test subjects over there.”

Everyone looked at the robbers in the cage.

Minutes later, Wen Ye and Qi Feng had dragged the two robbers to the precise center of the printer—the spot where the shopkeeper had shrunk them.

Chu Mo, Qi Yunchu, and the others perched atop the printer.

Qi Yunchu asked, “Ready?”

Qi Feng and Wen Ye waved up at them, mimicking the motions of airport ground crew.

Chu Mo and Qi Yunchu each took one side of the wristband. “You two hide, just in case.”

They couldn’t risk themselves; only the NPC robbers could serve as guinea pigs.

Qi Feng and Wen Ye ducked under the table, hiding behind a leg.

Yan Jiyun examined the printer, noticing several small holes in its center—presumably for imaging.

Chu Mo called from above, “Yan Jiyun, come up, so you don’t get hurt by accident.”

Yan Jiyun climbed back up, keeping his distance, eyes fixed on the “Enlarge” button and the tiny holes in the printer to see if any light would emit when activated.

Chu Mo counted down. “One, two, three—go!”

They struck the “Enlarge” function with the wristband. Yan Jiyun watched the screen, while his peripheral vision tracked the two robbers below. There was a response from the screen, but the robbers’ bodies didn’t change.

Chu Mo peered down. “Nothing happened. Is the button useless?”

Yan Jiyun analyzed calmly, “Three possibilities: one, there’s a delay; two, the function itself doesn’t work; three, it only works under certain conditions, like not on people who have just been shrunk.”

Qi Yunchu said, “Let’s wait a bit. Maybe the machine’s just sluggish.”

A minute passed. Then two, then three…

Both those under and atop the table waited, but nothing changed.

Maybe it just didn’t work on those robbers, Yan Jiyun thought.

His gaze drifted to the brat stuffed in a box of plush toys. He couldn’t help wondering why the shopkeeper hadn’t shrunk him. Maybe a child’s body couldn’t withstand the strain—after all, the robbers hadn’t woken in over an hour.

It was a reminder: their time was running out.

As they debated, Qi Feng and Wen Ye dragged the robbers under the table, then stood where the robbers had been.

Qi Feng called up to the trio on the printer. “My turn. I’ll try the ‘Enlarge’ function.”

Yan Jiyun frowned. “No, it’s not safe. We haven’t confirmed how it works yet.”

Qi Feng shouted back, “The shopkeeper’s actions are logical. The printer likely works as labeled: copy is copy, enlarge is enlarge—no tricks!”

Among them, it was obvious—Qi Feng’s greatest trust wasn’t placed in Qi Yunchu, whom he’d known for years, or the estranged Su Qiuming, but in this newcomer, Yan Jiyun, whom he’d barely spoken to before today.

Qi Yunchu and Chu Mo both looked to Yan Jiyun, leaving the decision to him.

Yan Jiyun bit his lip. If he were standing below, he’d gamble. But it was Qi Feng’s life—not his—on the line.

If Qi Feng died, he’d die too.

He told Qi Feng, “Come up, let me take your place!”

Qi Feng crossed his arms in an X from below, refusing.

Yan Jiyun looked to Chu Mo, who showed no objection to Wen Ye’s decision, if anything calmer than himself.

He understood.

Yan Jiyun fell silent for several seconds, then chose to trust Qi Feng. “We’ll go with it. Try the ‘Enlarge’ function again.”

He ought to trust veteran players’ instincts; things likely weren’t as bad as he feared.

They lifted the wristband again and smashed it onto the “Enlarge” button.

[“To Be Human” Live Stream:]

“I can’t watch! Will the main character just disappear?”

“Damn it, how come no one’s ever gotten this ending before? What if the host dies here? Wouldn’t that mean the kitten dies too?”

“Yeah, but I just know the kitty is too cute to die!”

“I’m so nervous—will he be okay?”

Yan Jiyun and Chu Mo pressed the “Enlarge” button themselves, not knowing what would happen, watching the two below with bated breath. He counted silently—one, two—

Suddenly, a faint mechanical sound came from the printer.

Ka-cha, ka-cha.

Like a scanner at work, it hissed twice and then stopped.

But that was unimportant, for they all saw with the naked eye as Qi Feng and Wen Ye visibly increased in size, transforming in two seconds from thumb-sized people to as tall as the shopkeeper—restored to normal.

Yan Jiyun unclenched his fists. He’d been burned by the game too many times—his caution was overzealous.

The printer’s functions were perfectly routine, nothing out of the ordinary.

Restored to normal, Qi Feng quickly lifted the others to the ground, returning Yan Jiyun, Chu Mo, and Qi Yunchu to full size.

Five of them now crowded the tiny break room, voices lowered lest they be overheard.

Qi Yunchu thought of Su Qiuming, still outside toiling over Christmas gifts. “We need to bring Su Qiuming in, too.” Gift basket.

But they knew now wasn’t the time to leave. The shopkeeper was still outside.

Qi Feng softly opened the door, peering out. The shopkeeper was nowhere in sight.

Yan Jiyun was thinking differently, focusing on the printer. “Could using this machine harm us? Remember—the robbers passed out after they shrank.”

Wen Ye said, “That’s true, but nothing happened when we returned to size.”

Yan Jiyun said, “I suggest we avoid using any other function from now on, or it could seriously hurt us.”

Qi Yunchu agreed. “I agree. But we still have to get Su Qiuming in here and returned to normal. That means dealing with the shopkeeper first.”

Qi Feng turned back. “He’s bigger than the rest of us—it’ll take at least two to handle him, and we have to lure him in here. We can’t risk a confrontation outside. There might be people next door who know him; if the police are called, everything we’ve done would be for nothing.”

In these game instances, involving the police meant being expelled from the game—and for expelled players, the only ending was death.

No one objected; going outside now was a death sentence. Getting caught early on could bring who knew what consequences.

They had to lure the shopkeeper inside.

Yan Jiyun said, “Once he’s in, don’t let him near the printer.”

Qi Feng said, “Naturally. He knows it better than any of us.”

At that moment, Chu Mo hefted the unconscious brat. “Why not use him to lure the shopkeeper in?”

All eyes turned to the brat and nodded—this was a good idea!

Wen Ye went to the restroom and returned with a handful of water, splashing it onto the brat’s face.

The brat wailed, limbs flailing. “Help! It’s raining!” Then, opening his eyes and catching sight of some very familiar faces, “Santa Claus? No—you’re Christmas elves!”

Chu Mo pinched his cheek. “Nope. Call us big brother.”

The brat wasn’t that stupid—he immediately screamed, “Help, someone’s trying to kidnap me!”

Yan Jiyun heard the shopkeeper’s hurried steps. He signaled to Qi Feng—they just had to wait for him to enter and then take him down.

Qi Feng and Wen Ye, swift and practiced, would restrain the shopkeeper; Chu Mo would hold the brat in check; Yan Jiyun and Qi Yunchu would block access to the printer.

Everyone hid behind the door.

The shopkeeper drew closer.

He pushed open the door.

Half his shoe crossed the threshold.

Chu Mo clamped a hand tightly over the brat’s mouth. “Mmmph!”

The shopkeeper hesitated, pushing the door slowly, not stepping through at once. His temper was fierce, but he wasn’t reckless or stupid.

They all held their breath, waiting for him to commit.

After weighing it for a few seconds, the shopkeeper did step inside. Maybe he suspected the brat was staging things, since his yelling had abruptly stopped.

Chu Mo glanced down and realized he’d accidentally suffocated the brat unconscious. He quickly removed his hand.

At that moment, the shopkeeper entered fully.

He spotted the group behind the door—before he could count them, Qi Feng lashed out with a kick, sending him sideways, while Wen Ye slammed the door. The shopkeeper, seeing the door about to catch his leg, quickly pulled it free and hurled himself at the printer!

Yan Jiyun was ready, blocking his access. But the shopkeeper smirked slyly—he had a knife, the very one the robbers had carried. Brandishing it, he thrust at Yan Jiyun’s chest!

Clang!

Before the blade could strike, Qi Feng kicked it across the room, then followed up with a boot to the face!

The shopkeeper staggered, crashing into the wardrobe. Nose gushing blood into his hands, he was half-fainting.

Wen Ye hadn’t even needed to act—Qi Feng had handled it all.

Yan Jiyun handed Qi Feng a strip of cloth. “Tie him up.”

Qi Feng checked him for injuries, then took the cloth.

Clutching his nose and listing to the side, the shopkeeper suddenly cried, “You’re the little men who caused trouble in my shop!”

Wen Ye pinned his arms for binding, replying, “Took you long enough.”

The shopkeeper offered no resistance but rolled sideways, refusing to give up his other hand.

Suddenly Yan Jiyun shouted, “Damn—it’s his phone! The printer might be connected to his phone!”

Even as he spoke, the shopkeeper smiled coldly. “Too late now.”

Standing in front of the printer, Yan Jiyun was hit by a wave of dizziness—

Damn!

As Yan Jiyun’s eyes closed, the last thing he saw was Qi Feng lunging toward him—

“Yan Jiyun!”