Cat 276: Cream of Mushroom Soup
by CristaeChapter 276: Cream of Mushroom Soup
“Holy crap, crap, crap! Can someone please explain what’s going on here! [disheveled-in-the-wind.jpg]”
“S-so, when Brother Feng changed the stream name, he meant it literally? [trembling-fingers.jpg]”
“Ha! That’s what you get for disliking our Cat Cub all this time. See, he’s actually Qi Feng’s owner! My Cat Cub is the most awesome!”
“I honestly don’t know how to process the fact that the newbie is now Brother Feng’s family cat. The new guy became the master? No, I refuse to accept this! Why does he get to have a cat?”
“Am I seriously the only one weirdly okay with this? Damn, Brother Feng’s cat is a player too—he can turn into a cat! He can turn into a cat! He can turn into a cat!”
“Wuwuwu, after flaming the newbie for so long, turns out he’s Brother Feng’s darling. Why didn’t Brother Feng say anything sooner? We could have gone from stream to stream looking for the cat ourselves!”
“Mistake! Brother Feng and his cat are so sweet—love it!”
“So, when did Brother Feng’s cat join the game? Did he come in with him?”
“From the moment Brother Feng changed his stream name, his cat joined, right? I checked the forum—there were loads of posts about the cat streamer. Thought it was just a player’s gag, but turns out it was real!”
“If only Brother Feng had shouted in the stream, we could have told him! But now I just feel stupid—should I go apologize in the cat’s stream? I said bad things about him before. [slapping-my-own-face.jpg]”
“But isn’t it against the rules for viewers to reveal other players’ info? Even if Feng asked, we couldn’t have told him—he can’t see it. Brother Feng was smart, using the stream title as a hint. It’s our fault for not reading too deeply into it. If we’d paid more attention to the name, we would’ve known.”
“Proves you all aren’t real fans of Brother Feng, what else can I say.”
“…Is Brother Feng going to change his stream name again?”
“No need. Before it was ‘Have you seen my cat?’ (anxious). Now it’s ‘Have you seen my cat?’ (showing off).”
[“Trying to Be Human” Livestream:]
“Hahahahaha, the tsundere crowd in the other stream is killing me—they just learned Cat Cub is Qi Feng’s cat and are completely shocked.”
“I just came over from their stream too, wow, that IQ.”
“Whatever happens, Cat Cub is the best, no arguments!”
“Wuwuwu, come here and look at Brother Feng’s cat, slurp~”
“Slurp slurp slurp, what an adorable big head, and he eats so well.”
“I have a question—did this cat player turn into a cat, or is it a cat turning into a human?”
“Good question, next time don’t ask!”
However the livestreams raged, it had little to do with Qi Feng and Yan Jiyun. They had just finished the first round in first place, so far ahead of the competition that the runner-up wasn’t even visible.
The two-player instance was not easy. In each round, there were six sub-stages: 1-1, 1-2, and 1-3 were solo challenges for each player, and both had to pass these before they could start on 1-4, 1-5, and 1-6, which were the actual cooperative parts. Completing six sub-stages cleared one round.
Qi Feng and Yan Jiyun were fast—not only did they complete within the time limit, they finished the first round in only five minutes.
At the finish, a lifelike raccoon crouched by the goal—not a real animal, just a stiffly moving figure with glowing red eyes like a surveillance camera installed at the end of the stage.
Since entering this game, Qi Feng and Yan Jiyun’s system had been quiet. Now, a voice sounded from the little raccoon before them.
The raccoon’s voice was boyish.
“Congratulations, players, on taking first place in Round One. The top team can now choose the next type of stage. What category would you like to select?”
Qi Feng had stopped moving. Yan Jiyun, no longer curled in his arms, now perched on his uninjured shoulder. Two front paws clutched Qi Feng’s head for balance.
A translucent screen appeared before them, rotating through selectable game categories:
[Food Stage] [Plant Stage] [Climate Stage] [Story Stage] [Speed Stage] [Music Stage] [Bubble Stage] [Puzzle Stage] [Cylinder Stage] [Conveyor Stage]
And that was only the first page—there were 10 more. Each “big category” had sub-categories. They could choose maps from whichever they excelled at.
“Please select within thirty seconds. If you do not make a choice, the system will randomly assign the next map.”
Qi Feng spent three seconds scanning all ten category pages, noting each had sub-categories behind its icon.
He asked, “Why can’t we see the sub-categories after clicking on a main category?”
From his perch, Yan Jiyun gave an approving meow in agreement with Qi Feng’s question—they were thinking the same thing.
Raccoon: “It’s because this is just the first stage. To view sub-categories, you need to push further and win first place again. Complete the system’s conditions to unlock more permissions. Keep up the good work~”
Qi Feng asked, “Which stage do you want to try?”
Yan Jiyun didn’t care—the selection was only for the opening stages, and they would have more choices next time.
He shook his head, signaling for Qi Feng to decide.
Qi Feng scanned the list once more and selected the first option: Food Stage.
What was included under food? They didn’t know—but based on previous games, food-related content would include staples, snacks, fruits, vegetables, meats, drinks, etc.
However the game chose to use food in the gameplay would be up to the developers’ creativity.
It was only the first round—they had no clue where their target might be, so they picked at random for now.
Surely the Food Stage would appeal to viewing audiences, and likely wouldn’t be too difficult.
Thirty seconds passed.
The raccoon announced, “Players have selected the Food Stage. All remaining participants will now enter the Food Stage.”
Qi Feng asked, “Does that mean we have to wait for the others to finish before we can continue?”
Raccoon: “Of course. Our game is fair. You’ve earned the power of choice and a break as first place winners, while the others give up rest to catch up for the next round.”
Both Yan Jiyun and Qi Feng found this a waste—so much for racing constantly forward, they’d have to wait.
Yan Jiyun had to shift back to human form before new players arrived.
When he changed, he ended up leaning against Qi Feng, one arm slung casually over his shoulder, exuding lazy energy.
Qi Feng noticed his different clothes. “Are those yours, or does the system give them to you?”
He’d seen Yan Jiyun change outfits several times—never the same, always scene-appropriate. He’d wanted to ask for a while now.
“They’re system-issued. Whatever form I’m in when I use the experience card, that’s what I wear. Last time at the station, I turned back in the forensics lab and got a white coat.”
“How come I never saw you wear a lab coat?” Qi Feng tried to imagine the look.
“I took it off.”
“So that morning when you changed from cat to human in pajamas, that was also system-issued for the setting?”
“Mhm.” Yan Jiyun was indifferent about his clothes—as long as he wasn’t left naked, it was fine. “What do you think the Food Stage will be like?”
Qi Feng remembered Caramel used to sneak his friends’ cakes; after eating them, he’d be sick for ages. His demeanor suddenly turned serious. “Listen, I don’t care how tasty the sweets look or how good the fried meat smells—you must not touch any of it.”
Yan Jiyun: “…That’s not what I meant.”
Qi Feng: “Just don’t eat anything.”
Yan Jiyun nodded perfunctorily. “Got it.”
He changed the subject—choosing Food Stage might have been a mistake. To see but not eat was cruel.
The first two other players dashed in, finding Qi Feng and Yan Jiyun standing relaxed at the goal, without a hint of tension, as if sightseeing. The new arrivals were so winded they could barely breathe.
One of them gasped, “You two don’t look tired at all.”
Yan Jiyun fanned himself with his hand. “Not bad, it’s pretty hot.” He successfully drew a wave of envy.
Checking the time, Yan Jiyun saw there were five minutes to go, but only two teams had arrived so far.
On the live leaderboard, their names stood at the top.
[Round One Rankings]
1st Place: Yan Jiyun, Qi Feng 05:03
2nd Place: Gao Kan, Zheng Xian 10:19
The third place team appeared at twelve minutes—maybe they figured out the trick after multiple failures. Of 100 players (in 50 teams), 48 completed the round. The two who failed likely just couldn’t keep up.
Gao Kan and Zheng Xian didn’t speak much. They barely introduced themselves, but it was easy to tell who everyone was.
They exchanged information about the round.
Both Gao Kan and Zheng Xian had quick minds and good stamina. Zheng Xian was quieter; Gao Kan kept trying to get Yan Jiyun and Qi Feng to share their secret to success.
Yan Jiyun, deadpan: “I mostly got lucky.”
[“Trying to Be Human” Livestream:]
“Cat Cub’s right! It’s luck—he got a good owner to carry him through.”
“LOL, the other guy is fuming. They can’t even chat right.”
“If it were me, I’d kick Cat Cub off the cliff in the next round. Who wouldn’t be mad?”
When the fifteen-minute limit ended, a heavy gate crashed down behind the players, followed by the mechanical noises of the stage being dismantled and the distant screams of those who hadn’t finished in time.
Although you could respawn in mini-stages, failing to clear the round meant real death. The hopeless screams sent chills down everyone’s spines.
Yan Jiyun put away his lazy air. His brows drew together in a slight frown.
Qi Feng noticed and patted his shoulder. “Don’t be scared.”
Round one was over; round two started smoothly.
What exactly was the Food Stage?
The gate slowly opened. A bell chimed as the raccoon’s voice sounded: “Round Two begins. This stage will last for thirteen minutes. The leading team can pick the stage, so hurry up—more rewards to unlock at the finish line, keep it up!”
Upon hearing this, many players dashed out.
Yet as soon as they moved, they were stuck in place, smothered in a milky-white substance.
“Shit!”
“What the hell is this?!”
“Ugh, so gross—my clothes!”
Yan Jiyun had just raised his leg, but pulled back at the last second.
He eyed the soft, creamy liquid beneath him with disdain. “What is this stuff? It smells so sweet and cloying.”
Qi Feng, who had some knowledge of both Eastern and Western cuisine, answered, “It’s probably cream, used for baking.”
Yan Jiyun licked his lips. “Is cream edible?”
Qi Feng clamped a hand over his nose and mouth. “No.”
Yan Jiyun, disappointed, clicked his tongue.
He had no interest in cream—he just wanted to tease Qi Feng.
While they pondered where to step, the cream began to bubble, as if something beneath it was heating it up.
Yan Jiyun asked, “Could this be fresh-off-the-pot cream of mushroom soup?”
Qi Feng replied, “Then you must be the black mushroom?”
Yan Jiyun pursed his lips. “Are you implying I’m dark?”
Qi Feng burst out laughing. “I am.”
Without hesitation, Yan Jiyun kicked Qi Feng into the cream soup.
Coated head-to-toe in cream, Qi Feng’s smile froze on his lips. “…”