Cat 282: It Had to be Little Six

Chapter 282: It Had to Be Little Six

If you took the phrase at face value, you’d think the game required you to make a stone-faced NPC laugh. Wasn’t that odd?

It was hard to tell if the NPC was actually human. If so, at least he’d have a sense of humor. If not, wasn’t the assignment fundamentally impossible?

Just as all the players were puzzling over this seemingly absurd game, the unsmiling young NPC in front of them began to explain the rules.

The young man said, “Here are the rules for this round.”

“Players may attempt to make me laugh, but may not touch me physically. Any violation results in immediate elimination.”

“This is a team cooperation round. As long as one player succeeds in making me laugh, all players will leave the game at the same time. Each team has only one chance and thirty seconds to perform. The round is limited to fifteen minutes total. Whoever makes me laugh will receive a generous reward upon exiting the stage.”

“The game begins.”

The setting was a garden, with the austere young man seated in his own spot awaiting the players’ efforts to amuse him.

This task looked simple, but in practice, it was anything but.

They were now at the thirtieth stage. It seemed straightforward, but the “how” was the real challenge.

If the NPC were played by a spectator, it’d be easier—judging by audience reactions, their sense of humor wasn’t far removed from the players’. Standard jokes might do the trick. The trouble was not knowing if this was a real person or a game-generated NPC.

After the young man announced the start, Yan Jiyun did a quick calculation.

Each team only had one chance, each lasting thirty seconds. With twenty-two teams, that was eleven minutes total; the game allowed fifteen, easily enough for every team to try. But even a brief joke would usually need at least fifteen seconds.

Though it was a team event, each group was given only one opportunity, demanding real coordination.

Two teams, apparently confident, rushed up to perform as soon as the rules were announced.

The first team pulled faces and struck odd poses in front of the young man.

His expression barely changed; he frowned slightly. “Ugly.”

Players: “…”

The second team followed close on their heels.

“I guarantee you’ll laugh at this joke—hahahaha!”

The player hadn’t even begun telling the joke before he’d started laughing at his own memory of it.

“Hahahaha, it’s really funny.”

The young man remained impassive. “Time starts now.”

The player stifled his laughter and told the joke: “One day, Xiaoming got a haircut. The next day at school, his classmate said: ‘Your hair looks just like a kite.’ Xiaoming was so upset he ran outside crying, and as he cried, he started to fly away!”

The young man said, “Mm. Time’s up.”

He didn’t laugh.

The player, who’d just been howling with laughter, could only stare blankly. If the NPC didn’t laugh, their chance was gone.

Too careless.

[Username: Want to Be Human] – Streaming Room:

“Hahaha! That joke was pretty funny!”

“I didn’t laugh.”

“Meh. If the NPC could be brought down by a joke that simple, he wouldn’t be an NPC. I’m curious how the cat cub and his owner will handle this. Looking forward to their answer.”

Yan Jiyun and Qi Feng were just as baffled.

A player wandered over to discuss ideas.

A young man clad in a tight black outfit approached and spoke directly: “Any thoughts on the NPC? Thanks for saving my friend and me in the blindfolded ball challenge.”

Yan Jiyun accepted the gratitude without fuss. “You’re welcome. This one’s tough, but it’s definitely not about making faces or telling jokes.”

They were in a garden—a modest space, but lush and full of spring.

In such a beautiful place, you’d expect the young NPC to have higher standards for what could make him smile.

Many players, seeing Yan Jiyun and Qi Feng examining the setting, also began searching for clues.

Yan Jiyun wished it really could be that easy.

The young man said, “I’m Shan Li. If you need us, just say so.”

Yan Jiyun was honest: “Absolutely. Since it’s a team game, all of us brainstorming is for the best.”

Soon three or four other teams came over, all hoping to work together.

After those first two failures, the rest were wary of rushing up with jokes—cold humor clearly didn’t work on this NPC.

Yan Jiyun and Qi Feng took a stroll around the garden. Finding nothing but simple decorations, they seated themselves on the grass to confer.

While they scouted the environment, three more teams tried their luck telling stories to the NPC. One described the tragic experience of being attacked by a goose as a child. The young man summed it up in two words:

“So sad.”

Player: “…You’re not going to laugh?”

NPC: “Sad, but not funny.”

Solid values, at least.

The next two teams performed a comedy skit, going all out with their talents. The young man actually clapped and praised: “Great teamwork.”

Players: “…”

Praise was not what they were after! Couldn’t he just smile?

So close, yet so far.

Clearly, making this NPC laugh was far from easy. The skilled players had all tried; what hope did the less talented, joke-challenged ones have?

Those who’d used up their shot were left dejected. How could they possibly draw a laugh from him?

Qi Feng and Yan Jiyun glanced at their streaming feeds. Suggestions from viewers were hidden—anything obvious was filtered out by the system.

Lounging against Qi Feng, Yan Jiyun sighed, “Ah, this is too hard. Only eleven minutes left.” Anxiety gnawed at him.

Qi Feng delighted in Yan Jiyun’s boneless sprawl, liking the closeness. His own face might match the NPC’s calm, but his eyes softened as he looked at Yan Jiyun.

Qi Feng reminded himself to focus. Leaning close, he whispered in Yan Jiyun’s ear, “Cold jokes, acrobatics, sob stories, little tales—none of it worked. Maybe someone should try family or romance.”

Yan Jiyun’s eyes brightened. “You sure?”

Qi Feng considered, “People crave what they lack. If it were me, I’d want what I don’t have. I was alone so long I wanted company, but I didn’t want romance, and then came this game where I didn’t even know if I’d survive. So I got a cat. Just seeing the cat would make me smile.”

Yan Jiyun suddenly hooked Qi Feng’s chin. “Then give me a smile—let’s see a real heartfelt one.”

Qi Feng’s face flushed at the touch; he removed Yan Jiyun’s hand and pressed it to his thigh. “Behave.”

Yan Jiyun, as always, toyed with Qi Feng the same way a cat would.

The sun was shining; it was perfect for basking, which Yan Jiyun loved. On a good day, he was always up for a bit of play.

Other players, growing more nervous as time ticked away, gnashed their teeth. These two—all hope pinned on them—were still flirting and goofing off? This was life and death! Stupid gay couple.

Of course, with so many male players and so few females, the game had its share of gay and bi pairings. Most players were used to it, but nobody expected anyone to still be cozying up at such a critical moment.

Was this the legendary “die under the peony, still a romantic ghost”? They meant the taller, sturdier Qi Feng, with the other being more like an attachment.

The livestream audience, by contrast, couldn’t get enough.

[Username: Want to Be Human] – Streaming Room:

“I can’t—I ship them so hard. Even without a confession, I’m convinced they’re a couple already!”

“I’m writhing! Why are they so sweet? Ahh! The cat cub is just clinging to Qi Feng like a cat! I keep telling myself, this isn’t love, it’s owner-and-pet!”

“Me too. I’m touched, sob!”

Qi Feng’s stream took a different tone.

[Username: Have You Seen My Cat?] – Streaming Room:

“Are these newbies nuts? Still clinging to Qi Feng instead of finding a way to make the NPC laugh—the game will be over for them! Are eliminated players’ livestreams still running?”

“No, eliminated players’ streams go dark, no sign they’ll open again.”

“Are they really gone for good?”

“I’m dying here—think of something, already!”

“Ahh, Qi Feng doesn’t seem nervous at all. Does he actually want to date the newbie? But that’s his cat!”

“A cat is just a form. The person’s a regular guy.”

And so, Qi Feng’s stream veered into a debate on whether he should like a human or a cat.

So far, eight teams had blown their chances. Teams that had approached Yan Jiyun about working together were hanging back, still cautious as they scouted and strategized, but making no progress.

At that moment, Yan Jiyun abruptly stood and approached the young NPC.

When it came to conversation, Yan Jiyun had a natural advantage; his expressions were far richer than Qi Feng’s.

He walked up to the neatly seated young man.

No physical contact was allowed; even tickling might provoke a laugh, if the NPC was actually human. Was he?

Yan Jiyun didn’t get too close, instead sitting down beside him.

He asked, “Can I talk to you? Not as part of the game.”

The young man considered. “You can.”

Yan Jiyun: “Why did you become an NPC?”

The young man: “It’s my job.”

Yan Jiyun: “Oh. Do you eat meat or are you vegetarian?”

The young man: “Mostly meat.”

Yan Jiyun: “Do you have a girlfriend, or a boyfriend?”

The young man shook his head. “No.”

Yan Jiyun: “What kind of movies do you like? Mystery? Romance? Tragedy? Comedy?”

The young man: “Mystery. Tragedy.”

Yan Jiyun: “Do you know Teacher Qu?”

The young man paused. “No.”

Yan Jiyun was about to continue when a player politely interrupted, “Excuse me, I’d like to try.”

Yan Jiyun stood and returned to Qi Feng.

“I asked if he knew Teacher Qu. He hesitated, then said no.”

Qi Feng: “That means he does.”

Yan Jiyun leaned on Qi Feng’s shoulder, murmuring, “It’s been ages since I worked on NPC affection.”

Qi Feng raised a brow. “How do you do it?”

Time was ticking away. Many players, feeling short on options and uninterested in betting on Yan Jiyun and Qi Feng, watched Yan Jiyun’s chat with the NPC without understanding his intent. Deciding not to wait, others made their attempts.

Having overheard Yan Jiyun’s small talk, one team tried to act out being shot.

Another couple staged a thirty-second kiss, the young man watching impassively throughout.

Yet another team broke out a robot dance.

All manner of tricks were attempted.

Then, with fewer than five minutes left, five teams remained—one was the black-clad young man and his partner who’d first approached Yan Jiyun and Qi Feng.

These five now made their moves.

Meanwhile, Yan Jiyun went for a stroll around the garden and returned with a large, plush-boned black cat that meowed in an odd, squeaky voice.

He sat down next to Qi Feng, but didn’t approach the young man. The other players found this odd—where had he found the cat?

The black cat was a solid fourteen or fifteen pounds, with a strong frame and lively manner. It paced around Yan Jiyun’s feet.

Out of the corner of his eye, Yan Jiyun noticed that the young NPC was tracking the cat’s every movement.

With two minutes left, the young man suddenly rose and walked over to Yan Jiyun.

“Can I play with your cat?”

Yan Jiyun handed him Little Six. “Sure.”

Little Six was friendly to everyone, with no hint of shyness. He sniffed the young man’s fingers, rubbed his head against his palm, and even rolled on the ground, putting on a real show.

“Meow~ meow~ meow?”

The young man looked up and asked, “What’s his name?”

Yan Jiyun: “He’s called Little Six. And you?”

The young man smiled. “My name is Si Weiran.”

[Congratulations, player, you have successfully made Si Weiran smile.]

In a heartbeat, Si Weiran—still holding the black cat—and the entire scene vanished. All players were out of the thirtieth stage.

Qi Feng suddenly asked Yan Jiyun, “Why do you want to give me a cat for my birthday?”

Meeting Qi Feng’s gaze, Yan Jiyun realized what he meant. “Because—”