Eldest 185

185.

Theodore was certain this moment was a dream.

“Theo.”

The person he thought he’d never see again stood before him.

“Dohemia…”

The woman with long silver hair and blue eyes gazed at him with infinite sadness.

Theodore took a step toward her, but stopped at once.

She was looking at him with such grief, and the faces of three others flashed through his mind.

“…Bellady almost suffered a grave injury.”

The words slipped from him unbidden.

“She’s a cautious, meticulous child, but it seems she let her guard down at the end.”

“….”

“But I managed to stop it, so don’t worry too much.”

Dohemia said nothing.

Theodore fixed her with a long look, then recalled his last moment before losing consciousness.

That bracelet the Crown Prince had thrown must not have been an ordinary bomb.

It hadn’t triggered any magic-detection wards, and the usual shield spells didn’t respond.

‘Was it something to do with spirits…?’

All the more reason he was grateful for watching over Bellady so closely.

Thanks to that, he had been able to protect her—finally, this once.

“It’s better this way. Bellady will do well no matter what, even without me. Maybe not being in her sight… is what’s best for her. And as long as Meldor has someone steadfast to guide him, he won’t go astray either.”

“….”

“Neshia… I only feel sorry for her. I—”

Then, at last, Dohemia’s tightly shut mouth opened.

“Stop talking nonsense and go back.”

“…What?”

“The one you truly owe an apology to—the one you must beg to forgive you—it isn’t that girl called Neshia. Don’t ever forget she’s your own daughter.”

Dohemia’s eyes twisted in sorrow.

“Theo, wounds aren’t always of the body. So don’t be pleased with yourself just for saving Bellady—keep begging her forgiveness until her heart truly heals.”

“Dohemia…”

“Don’t keep running away… Don’t become a parent as irresponsible as I was, Theodore.”

“But I… I don’t know what I should do for her—”

As Theodore faltered, Dohemia strode forward, closing the distance between them.

On instinct, he spread his arms, as if to embrace his wife—but that was foolish.

Up close, Dohemia’s face was twisted with anger.

“Now, for God’s sake, get a grip, you idiot!”

With those words, Dohemia slapped him across the face.

Smack—!

That blazing pain jolted his eyes wide open.

He blinked up at a familiar ceiling.

‘This is…’

“Father! You’re awake?!”

“Uwaaaah! Duke!”

Meldor’s shout and Neshia’s cries filled the room.

Theodore forced his head to the side and looked around.

‘My room…’

It was his own bedroom in the capital residence.

Outside, warm sunlight seeped through gentle curtains, filling the room.

He had no idea how much time had passed since the blast.

Theodore braced his arms to sit up—only to halt at a stab of sharp pain.

Looking down, he saw both arms were tightly bandaged.

“Hurry, bring the doctor! And my sister! Go! Father, you can’t pass out again! Do you hear me?!”

“Don’t die, sir!”

“Quiet, both of you—leave.”

At that moment, Bellady entered, bringing the house physician and a nurse.

Her red eyes, exactly matching his, met his gaze.

‘Bellady…’

His daughter calmly ushered the anxious Meldor and Neshia outside.

She then signaled the physician to examine him.

Theodore could not stop watching Bellady’s face.

He had always thought she would feel nothing if he disappeared, that she must hate him.

‘She doesn’t look well at all.’

The physician finished his examination and leaned in to speak quietly to Bellady.

Normally, Theodore’s senses would have caught every syllable, but now, dulled as he was, he heard nothing.

The physician conferred with Bellady, then bowed and retreated with the assistants.

At last, only the two of them remained.

Bellady kept a deliberate distance and spoke in a calm voice.

“You’ve opened your eyes after a month.”

“….”

“As you probably guessed, that bomb was one of the spirit treasures. Its explosion grows stronger and wider the more rage its bearer feels.”

“….”

“Fortunately, the Crown Prince’s rage was solely directed at me, so the blast was narrowly focused. No one else was harmed.”

“….”

“Oh, not the Crown Prince anymore, I suppose. He was deposed.”

Bellady muttered softly.

At that, a pang filled Theodore’s heart.

He remembered Bellady as a child,

when she would chatter endlessly at him, desperate for even the smallest sign of attention,

when she still thought of him as her father.

‘She always finished her stories with soft murmurs like that.’

The little girl she was, and the woman she had become, overlapped before his eyes.

Her old, sweet patter seemed to echo in his ears.

Unbearable guilt, regret, and sorrow welled up and blurred his sight.

He had never felt anything so sharp and overwhelming.

“While you were unconscious, the law was changed. The position of Small Duke is now mine… Are you crying?”

At Bellady’s question, Theodore finally realized his cheeks were wet with tears.

Bellady gazed at him in mild disbelief.

Theodore was simply grateful to be able to look upon her face with both eyes.

—Now, for God’s sake, get a grip, you idiot!

He thought he understood now why Dohemia had shouted so.

If you die, there’s nothing more you can do.

No way to speak to Bellady, to beg forgiveness.

“I’m sorry, Bellady.”

His unused voice rasped and scraped, but Theodore kept whispering.

“I’m sorry I ignored your heart, sorry I looked away from you.”

“….”

“I tried to ease my guilt by turning to Neshia, by neglecting you, even though I knew I shouldn’t. I should have apologized to you first for all the hurt…”

Bellady quietly met his gaze.

Theodore could not look away.

“Dohemia and I—we were never fit to be parents. You must have suffered so much because of us… I’m sorry I’m only realizing it now. And thank you for growing up so well in spite of it.”

For a moment, Bellady’s eyes wavered.

---

I didn’t know how to respond to Father’s sudden apology.

It was hard to believe that dense man had reflected so deeply, or felt this much regret.

‘Did Mother slap him awake during his coma or something?’

It was a ridiculous thought, but Father’s remorse was too genuine to doubt.

I raised an eyebrow as I watched him.

‘Would he act the same if he realized his own condition?’

With complicated and doubtful eyes, I looked down at him.

“Then, will you entrust me with the title of Duke right now?”

He widened his eyes. Calmly, I continued,

“You can’t really manage the house anymore. Because of the aftereffects of your injuries, you can’t use your arms. With enough rehab, you’ll be able to live independently, but swordsmanship is beyond you now.”

“Ah…”

“No Aeltern Duke has ever been unable to wield a sword. So granting me the succession now makes for a strong statement. I’ve already acted as your deputy for the past month, anyway.”

I finished, deliberately mocking him.

“That’s what you get for senselessly risking yourself to save me. Too late for regrets now.”

“I don’t regret it.”

He cut in firmly. The sneer on my lips faded away.

“I’ll never regret it. Even if I lost both arms, saving you was the only thing that mattered.”

“Don’t try this ‘for your sake’ routine with me now.”

I slowly clenched both fists.

That wasn’t the answer I wanted.

“What’s changed your mind all of a sudden? Is it some revelation that comes to people just before death?”

“Then I’m lucky.”

He dodged my sarcasm with a non sequitur.

“I’m just glad I realized it before dying. Glad I could see you again and talk like this—”

“Enough.”

I cut him off.

“Let me be clear. First of all… thank you for saving me.”

“It’s what any parent must do.”

“…That doesn’t mean I want to forgive you. The hurt you caused is too deep, and I don’t trust you. So don’t hope for our relationship to improve.”

“Yes. I have no expectations that you’ll just forgive me. Whatever you choose, I’ll respect it and wait.”

“I said not to wait.”

“Let me have that much.”

“….”

“Until all the sadness and pain in your heart are gone. I want to apologize and reflect as many times as it takes. As your father… it’s the last thing I can do for you.”

The tenderness in his eyes left me speechless.

I steadied my breath, then met his gaze.

“Because I let my guard down, you lost the sword you cherished your whole life. Don’t you even hate me for that?”

“In comparison to what I did to you, this is nothing.”

He smiled with startling clarity.

“Honestly, it feels like a badge of honor, because I protected you.”

It was the first time I’d seen him smile that openly.

Not when he was with Mother, not even with Neshia.

The feeling that swept through me was impossible to define. I turned away.

“Rest now.”

“Bellady.”

I didn’t stop, even at his call, walking to the door.

As I reached it, I heard him whisper,

“You’re the proud eldest daughter of our house. Take care of Aeltern.”

It was the recognition I had long yearned for.

Choking up, I left the room.