Mess 174
by Cristae174.
“In his eyes, you really are a precious glass doll. He never left your side, except for the brief moments your mother was here.”
“……”
“Reminds me of my late husband.”
He could be so passionate as well.
With those words, part serious and part jest, the room fell silent once more.
Left alone, Seraphie quietly covered her face with both hands. She felt as if her temperature was rising again.
An exquisite dizziness swept over her, and her heart began to beat faster and faster.
“Ridiculous, honestly…”
A complaint, warm with affection, leaked out between her fingers.
She really did feel as if the fever were returning.
Fortunately, after two days of bed rest, Seraphie recovered quickly.
‘Really, just by not working, my whole body feels bright and refreshed.’
Had she really been that addicted to work?
Seraphie found herself reflecting on her lifestyle. There had certainly been a lot going on lately, and plenty to occupy her mind.
‘But this isn’t my fault…’
What was she supposed to do, when everyone seemed intent on finding more work to push onto her?
With a sense of injustice, Seraphie was grumbling to herself when—
“Are you all right, Countess?”
She looked up to see a group of children peeking their little faces just above the edge of her bed, gazing at her with shining eyes.
“Did it hurt a lot?”
“Did you take your medicine and sleep well?”
“We brought you a present!”
Each child set down a get-well gift on the bed.
There were wildflowers from the lakeshore, a tiny stuffed animal, two somewhat grimy candies, and even a cookie with a clear bite taken out of it.
“Thank you.”
Seraphie smiled with her eyes.
“But how did you all get in here?”
“We snuck in!”
“Sir Duke said we weren’t allowed in.”
“That’s why we came in secret.”
“If he finds out, we might be in trouble.”
“I have no intention of scolding you.”
The children jumped and spun around in surprise.
Orkis had appeared behind them at some point and now spoke in his calm voice.
“And I told you, not ‘Duke,’ but ‘the Duke’s son.’”
“You startled us!”
“You scared the Duke!”
“I said, call me the Duke’s heir.”
Orkis herded the clinging children out of the room. Even as they were shooed away, they kept chattering and laughing until the door finally closed.
“How are you feeling?”
He began to clear away the gifts the children had laid on the bed, moving them to the bedside table as he spoke.
“I think I’m all better.”
“You do seem to have lost most of that fever.”
Orkis let his hand fall away from her forehead.
“But still, you should rest and take your medicine through today.”
“Alright…”
Seraphie quietly accepted the medicine he handed her. Watching her take it, Orkis tilted his head.
“Are you still in pain?”
“No…”
She’d spent two entire days lying in bed, waiting for the mild fever to pass; there was no way she was still sick.
“You’re oddly compliant for someone who’s allegedly feeling fine.”
Orkis narrowed his eyes. Under ordinary circumstances, Seraphie would have snapped back, but now she was uncommonly docile.
“It’s not that I’m being compliant—it’s that I’m exhausted after being stuck in this damn bed for two days.”
“I’d have found it stifling, too.”
To Seraphie’s retort, Orkis readily agreed. Still, worrying was his habit; he reached out once more.
This time, his fingers softly traced across her eyes and cheeks. He was checking just how much her face had grown gaunt in these two days of illness.
“……”
Seraphie lowered her gaze, as if trying to flee.
‘It’s no wonder people were surprised, seeing it with their own eyes.’
‘Even for doting, this seems excessive.’
She felt foolish for being so embarrassed over a few such remarks. And yet, the fluttering in her heart was equally unmanageable and exasperating.
‘It’s like something inside me is broken.’
For a moment, she couldn’t even recall how she’d looked at Orkis all this time, or how she’d accepted the gravity of his feelings.
Even now.
Why should his hand, resting at her eyes, feel like something momentous?
Why was the sound of his measured breath suddenly so sweet?
Had his violet eyes, fixed solely on her, always been this beautiful?
Orkis, for his part, was the same as ever: fretful, full of scolding, but always sincere in his quiet kindness.
“…It feels like your fever’s coming back.”
Why, she wondered, did his voice—asking if she was alright—have to sound so needlessly tender?
“I’m fine…”
She replied, voice deflated—perhaps the dullest her voice had ever sounded even to her own ears.
The fingers brushing her lashes withdrew. Seraphie felt both relief and an odd pang of disappointment. Perhaps she really was losing her mind.
‘I wish he’d touched me just a little longer…’
How happy would she be if he whispered to her, right against her ear—
She didn’t care if his breath left her ear damp.
She remembered the even line of his teeth when their lips met. If those teeth gently nipped her ear, then her whole body—
“……”
Smack!
Seraphie slapped her own cheek in a panic.
Orkis, preparing a glass of water, froze.
“…It’s nothing.”
“…It rather seems like something.”
Orkis offered her the glass.
“Whatever it is, please refrain from harming yourself.”
He frowned at her swollen cheek. Seraphie only nodded in reply.
“What do you plan to do tomorrow?”
There was only a week of their holiday left. He’d hoped she might simply rest, but knowing Seraphie’s nature, that was a futile hope.
She herself knew it best.
“Probably spend it thinking about everything waiting for us when we return. I have to properly launch the swan boat sales, for one thing…”
“I told you to rest, and you’re working already…”
“Compared to my day-to-day responsibilities, this barely counts as work.”
“In your case, lazing in bed likely does wonders for your health.”
“Hahaha.”
Seraphie chuckled at the silly remark.
“I don’t see what’s funny,” Orkis muttered, but he ended up smiling too. He reached out and toyed gently with her slightly tangled hair.
“That’s filthy!”
Seraphie yelped, grabbing at her hair. But Orkis only tightened his fingers around the strands, clearly uninterested in letting go.
“I mean it, it’s really filthy!”
“My hand is?”
“Obviously my hair!”
She hadn’t washed it throughout those two sick days. Even at a glance, it was oily, yet Orkis acted as though he saw nothing wrong with it.
“If I go a few days without washing, I look the same.”
“But the problem is I’m the one who hasn’t washed!”
Even as she yelled, Seraphie couldn’t help but marvel.
She could barely stand the feel of her own dirty hair. Yet here was someone who cared so little for such things, simply because he loved her so much.
Perhaps that was why—
“Kiss.”
Without thinking, she asked,
“How much do you love me?”
Orkis’s eyes widened. It wasn’t so much the question that startled him, as the way Seraphie’s slim fingertip absentmindedly traced the corner of his eye.
Her hands were long and delicate, unlike his. Through the soft, small pads of her fingers, he could feel a warmth slightly higher than his own skin.
A faint, trembling sensation too.
So he answered honestly.
“…I’m not certain.”
Under the covers, Seraphie’s hand curled into a fist. The answer disappointed her, but not because it fell short of her expectations.
“However, I have imagined things.”
A little girl who resembled someone.
Or perhaps a little boy.
The gender hardly mattered. As long as the child resembled someone he loved—and carried a trace of himself as well—that was enough.
“I would prefer, if possible, that the child looked more like you.”
“……”
“That way, Penny would be less upset.”
The voice of his damned younger sister, warning not to turn her into a sad aunt, still echoed in his ears. His daydreams had started from that point.
“…Does it disgust you?”
“……”
Seraphie, instead of answering immediately, took the question seriously.
‘Why does this man, whenever he nears saying the words “I love you,” shrink and look so guilty, like a dog who’s done something wrong?’
She didn’t feel disgusted at all. On the contrary, it made her deeply happy to know he thought of her with such seriousness.
‘Lu was right all along.’
She said the mood when we kissed was something else. Apparently, not just she, but Orkis as well, harbored less-than-innocent feelings.
‘Would he leave bite marks on me?’
If only he would.
“……”
“……”
An awkward, uncomfortable silence stretched between them. But neither of them could find the words to break it.
Only Seraphie could shatter this silence—she still owed Orkis an answer to his question.
But her mind was fully occupied with a dry, burning thirst in her throat.
“…Would you mind leaving the room?”
The words, at last, were an eviction.
“……”
Orkis rose wordlessly. But Seraphie saw the emotion flicker in his eyes. What a fool he was.
“…I’ll go, then.”
But before he could conjure up any foolish misunderstanding, she resolved to say what she truly felt to her unusually timid lover.
“I’ll wash up and join you.”
So please, wait for me.
‘How do you use birth control?’
‘Huh?’
‘Teach me a birth control method.’
It was funny, even just thinking about it.
As soon as she’d risen from bed after two days and finished washing up, Seraphie had gone straight to Luni and asked her how to use birth control.
Luni, on the spot, nearly spat out her tea in a spectacular arc, and, as luck would have it, Karl—who’d been with them—quickly fled the room. Presumably, he went to find Orkis.
At any rate, Seraphie obtained the pills.
‘You put it in your tea before intercourse. If both people drink, it works better.’
‘Are there any side effects?’
‘I’ve heard there can be mild nausea or dizziness, but since Penny made it, I’ve never had any problems.’
‘……’
‘Is this how Penny felt when someone asked her to brew birth control for them?’
Luni’s belated pang of guilt, Seraphie did her best to ignore.
“…Whew.”
Having steeled herself, Seraphie knocked on the door. She’d been waiting outside for some time, and now it was finally time to go in.
“I’m here.”
There was, however, no reply.
So she entered on her own.
As expected, Orkis was inside, perched on the edge of the bed with a grave expression.
Whatever thoughts had him so deeply lost, he didn’t even notice her entering the room.
‘So he showered.’
The sight of his damp, black hair caught her eye.
“……”
Seraphie was suddenly nervous. The pouch of medicine in her hand felt as though it were burning her.
“Kiss.”
She called his name loudly, on a strange whim.
“Ah…”
Only then did Orkis jolt and look up. Seraphie, tilting her head and pouting in mock displeasure, suddenly burst out laughing.
“Your arms and legs are moving exactly the same way.”
He approached her with a rather forbidding look, but the way his arms and legs moved in tandem made him look like a broken toy—adorable in its awkwardness.
“……”
He only averted his eyes, a look of utter defeat on his face.